Old-school advice for modern times.
My grandfather was born in abject poverty.
He was born in 1927, and to give you an idea, between 1939 and 1951, people died of starvation in Spain, and food rationing cards were the norm.
He had to live through the Spanish Civil War and all of Franco’s dictatorship, but I never saw him complain once.
Like all countrymen, my grandfather loved to give advice and repeat aloud sayings that he made up.
When I was a child, I would go with him to the fields to get firewood and listen to him recite those strange lessons and advice that I could not understand.
He would make me repeat them repeatedly, like the multiplication table.
And today, I want to share with you the most disturbing ones. Those tips I once learned by heart and did not understand, and then life showed me they were true.
Let’s start.
On self-esteem
For most people, your life is worthless because they don’t know you and don’t need you, and if they did, maybe they still don’t care about you. It sounds complex, but it’s true. So start LOVING yourself because in this life, either you take care of yourself or no one else will.
When you are a child, you believe all the fairy tales. You think that life is a Disney movie, that you are Aladin, and you have the genie with the magic lamp at your disposal.
Then you grow up, and you see that it’s a lie.
My childhood friends turned their backs on me, the woman who swore eternal love to me left me over the phone (she didn’t even tell me to my face), and half of my family is only interested in knowing that I’m not doing better than them so they can criticize me at will.
My grandfather warned me. And now I know it’s true. And I act accordingly.
I choose myself above everything and everyone. Nobody is going to die for me, nobody. So I have to protect my self-esteem and take care of myself.
I recommend you do the same.
On how to face defeats
When life hits, you hide so no one can find you. Cry, dry your tears, lick your wounds and then come back. Don’t pity yourself, be self-sufficient. When you fall, get up and show your teeth so life knows what kind of wolf it has in front of it.
My grandfather and grandmother lived through such difficult times that I can’t even imagine.
They survived because they knew that predators smell fear.
That’s why they never showed their weakness in public. And that saved their lives.
And although today it is very fashionable to show our vulnerability, life has shown me, work after work, in offices or bars, that when people, whether they are clients, bosses, or co-workers, see you as weak, just as some help you, many others smell your fear and go after you to see you fall.
And that is why I follow my grandfather’s advice and only show my vulnerability to my most intimate and personal circle.
On manipulation
In life, you will meet people who dedicate themselves to psychologically crushing others without stopping to think about all the damage they can cause. Be glad to see them go because they enjoy seeing you bad.
When someone leaves our life, we feel bad, and we should celebrate
Why not?
Every time a partner leaves me for someone else, after licking my wounds, I celebrate because someone cheating on me is gone from my life, which is a great reason to celebrate 🙂
My grandfather also told me, “Stop missing the one who is gone. And appreciate more the one who stayed with you. For the latter is your friend, and the former condemned you to oblivion.” Time taught me that I was right.
And I respect loyalty above all things, which is why I invest my time in loyal people.
On Respect
When you see someone older than you, you must never forget that he has fallen and got up more times than you; by natural law, Experience is a degree that must be respected, and you should listen instead of judging.
The lesson I extract from that is that he who does not listen to his elders will not get very far because he will waste time making the mistakes that others before him have already made.
Listening to people who have gone through the same things you are beginning to experience can be a great help.
Listening to people who managed to get out of the pit in which we find ourselves saves us unnecessary pain and effort. Don’t forget that.
On Happiness
In life, you will have happy moments that you will remember with sadness And sad moments that you will remember with joy. But, of course, there will be difficult moments that will eventually make you laugh and beautiful moments that will ultimately make you cry.
Growing up, I discovered that fighting for your dreams is never a sacrifice. The sacrifice is not doing it.
When I waste my time on short-term fun, I regret it. And every time I remember what it cost me for some of the things I have achieved, I smile from ear to ear.
On fear
Do not allow fear to get inside you. The person who allows it starts by closing doors and windows and ended putting locks on his heart, mind, and soul. And that is not life.
This is one of the hardest lessons I have learned in life.
When I was 18 years old, I practiced spelunking and traveling the world by plane, bungee jumping, and any powerful thing you can imagine.
And during a flight to Ibiza, I had a VERY MOVING plane ride and what started with a bit of vertigo is now claustrophobia and fear of flying.
I allowed the fear to get inside me, which spread like a disease; today, I hardly get into elevators because if they break down, I’m sure I will panic.
(One of my goals this year is to fly again to vaccinate myself from fear).
Another phrase my grandfather made me repeat was, “when I’m gone, remember my advice but follow in your footsteps because from heaven I want to see you walk until your shoes break.”
And that’s what I do; that’s why I write.
And I hope these lessons will do you some good too.
A virtual hug
AG