#3 — Cleaning up other people’s sh*t.
Ultimately, I ask myself, “Is it me or life that sucks?”
I bet it’s life.
The matrix is peppering you with messages trying to make you believe you are the problem. And, of course, you have tons of issues (like everybody under the sun), but you are not the problem. You are the solution.
The matrix wants you powerless, sad, and impotent. Because when you don’t see the solution inside of you, you search for it in other places.
And there are a lot of industries and people living off your search.
- The self-help industry makes money from your search for happiness.
- The Hustler industry makes money from your search for success.
- The fashion industry makes money from your search for personality.
- The Instagram industry makes money from your search for self-esteem.
And you have to be careful because in those industries are always ghettos, modern cults where people search for community and human connection.
In other words, you must be careful because your loneliness and pain are assets some companies and people know how to exploit.
There is nothing wrong with you.
You don’t need to be fixed.
You need a healthy environment to interact with others and grow intellectually, professionally, and spiritually.
All you need is love, baby 🙂
But in the meantime, try these three tricks that help me feel better when my loneliness hurts.
1. Create your time machine
The power of nostalgia is healing.
Came back to the good all times can make you feel better when loneliness knocks on your door.
I’m not talking about watching old photos. But go one step ahead.
When I feel lonely, I make my time machine.
- I wear the same clothes I used to wear in high school (torn pants and Iron Maiden t-shirts).
- I prepare my favorite drink at that time in my favorite cup (Colacao).
- I make popcorn and put on a funny movie (sad ones don’t work, don’t watch Philadelphia) from the ’90s: Jurassic park, back to the future, etc.
And instantly, I feel good.
Time travel can heal the wounds of loneliness. And it makes sense because you are remembering things that made you happy (that worked) in another era and experiencing them again in the present.
Try it; you’ll feel better.
2. Talking to strangers on the Internet
I found that talking to strangers on Skype made me feel better.
It all started with a radio host from Canada who wanted to interview me for a literature app.
I agreed, and she contacted me by skype to make an agreement and explain the technical details because the program would be live.
She ended up telling me about her life and felt very lonely.
Summary of her story,
- She left her corporate job in Mexico
- She followed her husband to Canada.
- She would take care of the kids, and her husband would work.
- Her husband ended up sleeping with his secretary.
- She didn’t find out until her husband confessed to her.
- And instead of divorcing, they agreed: she would work as a nanny for her children, but they would live separate lives.
Since then, we have spoken 3 or 4 times on Skype to tell each other our sorrows but positively. So every time she calls me, we talk for hours.
This experience made me discover that 1) there are people who feel just as lonely as I do and need someone who understands them to talk to and 2) that when you help someone, even if it is only by listening, your loneliness heals a little.
And I have continued to do so.
I look for among my readers (usually on Twitter) that I feel are feeling low on energy and send them a DM; then, if there is affinity, I call them on Skype.
Helping some people, I’ve ended up helping myself.
Give it a shot; it will work.
3. Cleaning up other people’s sh*t
When we were allowed to go out in the street after the pandemic lockdown, one day, walking along the river promenade, I saw some young people throwing beer cans on the ground.
At first, I was indignant, but then I thought that I was worse at their age and decided to set an example by picking up the cans they were throwing.
They didn’t insult me or get upset; I think they were embarrassed. So, in the end, they helped me pick up the area.
The thing is that I came home that day emotionally cleaner.
And since then, I have done it a couple of times every month.
Cleaning my house always relaxes me and takes away my anxiety, but going to the natural park area of my city and picking up trash is a million times more powerful.
I’m an introvert (like most writers), and signing up for group activities in person makes me uneasy. However, going for a walk and picking up litter on the trails is something I can do individually and cures my loneliness.
I don’t know if it’s because I feel helpful doing it, I don’t know if it’s because I’m collaborating with nature itself, I don’t know if it’s because I do sports, but the fact is that it makes me feel great.
Also, surprisingly, many people come up to me to ask why I do it, making me socialize and make new friends.
Do it; you won’t regret it.
A virtual hug
AG