With real-life examples.
Having someone come into your life only to disappear without a word hurts; it hurts so much that it can destroy you.
That’s why it’s essential to be aware of the cruel motives of people who disappear from your life without explanation.
You must understand nothing is wrong with you: they are selfish and immature, not you.
Here’s a list of three cruel reasons why people ghost you so you can keep them for when you think it’s your fault because let me tell you something: IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.
Let’s get started.
1. They are real ghosts
The first reason why people disappear from your life without explanation is that their lies reached a point that makes unsustainable their cover and has to disappear to avoid making a fool of themselves and look like what they are: mediocre.
Example: once, a woman contacted me, offering to collaborate with a cultural institution. I accepted. She called me occasionally, but I am still waiting to receive something materialized. So in justifying her hour-long phone calls, she kept proposing something more significant and bigger.
What started as a proposal to exhibit poems with paintings in a museum was a trip to Nepal to write about a supposed mafia that traded in orphans.
In the end, I discovered that the lady was a former model, married to a video clip maker, who traveled a lot, didn’t pay much attention to her, and was lonely.
Lesson: liars do the most Goshting because their lies are unsustainable over time.
2. They don’t value you enough to give you an explanation
As we have seen in the previous point, people who do ghosting usually lie.
And that is why you often believe there was a special relationship, but there wasn’t. They were lying to you.
You have to understand that many people in the world can tell you anything to get what they need from you, be it material or sentimental, and when they get it, they will go. So they will block your contact and leave you hugging their ghost.
Example: One of my exes, in one of those chats you have when you start with someone new and share your old hurts so they don’t happen again, confessed to me that once a guy she was in a long-distance relationship with pretended to have cancer to disappear from her life.
Long story short: my ex traveled to the united states from Spain to visit the supposed grave of her supposed boyfriend, who she only saw for holidays, and when she arrived, she found him living with another woman, more alive than ever.
Lesson: The less someone who claims to value your values you, the less work on their lies because, deep down, they don’t care if you believe them or not; they want to get rid of you. So don’t suffer for them.
3. You love them more, and they feel uncomfortable
When we get too involved in a relationship, some people get scared and run away.
In love, there are two parts: the lover and the beloved. The lover needs to pursue the object of desire and tends to get too involved. And the beloved lets himself be desired, but if the lover goes too fast, the beloved gets scared and runs away.
Add this to some people’s fear, and you will discover why they leave you in the lurch whenever you want to label the relationship.
Example: Once upon a time, there was a boy, and that boy was me, who fell madly in love with a woman who lived on the other side of the world. And at first, that love was reciprocated, but over the years, and like all long-distance relationships, one of the parties got tired of it (her).
And the more she got tired, the more I struggled. And my effort to sustain the relationship was so intense that she became overwhelmed and disappeared, doing something similar to the story in the previous point: she told me that a relative of hers had a tumor and that she was sad and needed time to meditate.
When I realized it, she blocked me on all her social networks.
Lesson: Some people don’t know how to do it better. Some people reach a point where they don’t feel up to your standards, and that’s why they leave. And that’s very cruel for you because you think you didn’t give enough when that was the problem: you gave much more than the other person was willing to give.
A virtual hug
AG