Learn from one of the wisest minds of the last century.
Sometimes when I feel lost, I read the good Anthony de Mello to find myself again.
Anthony was a priest but also a psychotherapist, and in his books, he uses concepts from Christianity, Eastern culture, and mindfulness.
Anthony is a guy who speaks my language.
His sentences never leave you indifferent.
Reading Anthony transforms you, but he helps you when you feel bad.
That’s why I want to share with you three of his best phrases.
1. On conformism
“We humans act as if we live in a pool full of shit up to our necks and our main concern is reduced to no one raising waves.” — Anthony de Mello
A quote from Marcus Aurelius makes sense of Anthony’s: “It is ridiculous not to flee from one’s wickedness, which is possible, and to flee from that of others, which is impossible.”
No matter how still you stand, it’s impossible not to get splashed by other people’s shit,
So one way or another, you will end up splashed with shit up to the top of your head.
Your only option is to move. Swim in that mud pool up the ladder, and then get out.
Conformism leaves you in the pool, and when your time is up, or you get tired of standing in the same place, you’ll end up drowning in a sea of shit.
Get out of the pool, you’ll get dirty, but you can shower and clean yourself when you leave the pool.
2. About the people you help
“Don’t teach a pig to sing: you waste time and irritate the pig.”- Anthony de Mello.
The other day Paulo Coelho wrote a great phrase on his social networks, “I figured out quite a while ago that stupid people think everyone is stupid and can’t believe anyone else knows anything.”
And this also applies to your loved ones. People have a lot of egos, and ego makes them ignorant, and that lack of humility makes them think they know it all and, therefore, can’t learn anything new.
What I mean is that people have to seek help. Seeking help is the first step. If they don’t seek help and you try to help them, not only do you waste your time, but they will often get angry with you.
I know it is very upsetting to see a loved one going through something you have already gone through, and you want to spare them the pain that comes with that experience, but if they don’t ask for help, they will not listen to you.
I have lost many friends for not respecting their time.
Focus on your life, and let your example attract others as if you were a lighthouse in the middle of the darkness. But don’t go looking for them; let them come to you.
3. On selfishness
“Selfishness is demanding that the other do what you want.” — Anthony de Mello
I thought I was less selfish than I am. And to test the truth, I bought a manual counting machine.
It’s a little device that fits in the palm of your hand, and every time you press it, it adds up a number: 1, 2, 3, 4, etc.
And I started using it to count the times when I was annoyed by something someone did.
- The waiter brings me breakfast too late; click 1.
- My mother contradicts me on some unimportant subject, Click 2.
- A person walks too slow and gets in my way; click 3.
- A couple walks their dog without leash and muzzle along the river, Clik 4.
I was performing this experiment for three days. - Day 1: 49 clicks.
- Day 2: 57 clicks.
- Day 3: 46 clicks.
In conclusion, I am infinitely more selfish than I thought.
And being very selfish is something we self-proclaimed awakened or spiritual people don’t realize.
Thanks to this quote from Anthony, I now put my consciousness into getting less angry that people don’t behave the way I want them to.
And I score around 10 or 20 (if I am visited by a family member who gets on my nerves 🙂 daily clicks.
And now that I’m less angry and less selfish, I have triple the energy and much happier life.
And I wish the same to you.
A virtual hug
AG