The life lesson that Marcus Aurelius would have liked to know.
There are days when you wake up, and instead of writing in the gratitude journal, you would set it on fire.
Days when you meditate, and the only mantra your mind repeats is “Om f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck padme hum “:-)
Days when you would block anyone who quoted Marcus Aurelius.
I know; I have a lot of those days.
But there’s a spiritual concept that delves deeper than stoicism that can make all the difference in your days and give you back much of your lost happiness.
Read on.
80% of who you are today is a set of subconscious patterns.
Your current environment and socio-economic circumstances determine the other 20%.
You have been conditioned since childhood to behave in a certain way in response to a given stimulus: you have been programmed.
- That’s why you get irritated when your partner doesn’t behave as you want.
- That’s why it pisses you off when your friends ignore you.
- That’s why it drives you crazy that no one appreciates your effort and work.
You’ve been programmed to be frustrated by all that.
Why have you been programmed?
To produce non-stop.
- Phase 1: you are made to feel incomplete, so you want to possess things that are supposed to bring you happiness.
- Phase 2: you work to get those things.
- Phase 3: you find those things that make you feel good or keep looking until you find something that fulfills you.
- Phase 4: you get attached to those things because you think you won’t be happy without them.
- Phase 5: you spend the day afraid of losing what makes you happy.
That’s why you get irritated when things don’t go your way; you fear losing what you think you need to be happy: s*x, status, money, and applause.
You have been programmed to understand that to be happy is to be the f*cking master (or aspire to be): to have a villa with a swimming pool, a big car, an attractive partner, and a successful career.
But the happier is not the one who has more, but the one who needs less to be satisfied. And that, dear reader, is what the subtle habit of letting go is all about.
The subtle art of letting the sh*t go.
You have pretend friends, relationships, and dreams but want a real life.
It doesn’t work that way.
You have to deprogram yourself.
- Stop chasing the dreams that advertising made you want.
- Stop relating to people just for interest.
- Stop expecting your partner to be perfect and listen to you about everything.
Letting go of all that crap is the path to success.
Because why do you want to be successful and have money in the first place?
To be happy.
How to increase your degree of happiness
Being upset or bitter keeps you from enjoying life and clogs your flow of happiness, no matter how much you control your reaction and do the right thing.
On the other hand, there will come a point where you will burn out from repressing your bad feeling so much. And that will kill any form of success you might have.
So, to maximize your ability to be happy and statistically increase your chances of success, you have to learn to let go.
You must understand that not just reacting well but feeling good about responding well leads to success and happiness. Reread it.
And that’s not what 99% of people do.
Let me illustrate this with a personal example,
My mother irritates me (which happens very often), and I take the following steps.
- I stop blaming my mother for irritating me since I can only control my reaction, not my mother.
- I react politely so as not to start a conflict.
- I observe the inner irritation born in me despite doing the right thing instead of repressing it.
- I observe it and let it wash over me like a sea wave. I let it go. I don’t get attached to my fear.
Takeaway
In the words of Michael Singer, “The purpose of spiritual evolution is to remove the blocks that are the cause of fear” because those fears weaken your heart, and the cost is anger, possessiveness, jealousy, and too much ego.
You block your happiness.
Remember that all your irritations are born from fear: from fear of losing your partner, your job, not having money, being late, not being accepted, you name it; from losing everything you mistakenly believe is the source of your happiness.
Remove the fear from your heart by learning to let go of attachments, and you will unlock the authentic and genuine happiness that dwells within you.
A virtual hug.
AG