“My heartburn became my Guru”.
In 2023, I gave myself the gift of no. And since then, I say, without remorse, no to any proposal I don’t feel like.
The good thing about being over forty years old is that you start not to care if people get angry when you reject their proposals. When they get angry, you think. “Grow up. I did it.”
This year I gave myself the gift of I Don’t give a f*ck.
It may seem like the same thing, but it’s not.
Saying no is refusing to do things you would have done other times, looking for approval or validation.
I don’t give a f*ck is more about not giving a f*ck about the consequences of things.
And for that, it is fundamental to be spiritual because without a robust ethic or morality, I don’t give a f*ck turns you into a selfish egomaniac.
The power of good deeds
When you do the right thing, the consequences need not affect you. Reread it.
I explain it with three real scenarios of my life,
- I’m trying to help you get out of your addictions, and one day, I find out you’ve been cheating on me for three years; I don’t give a f*ck (I’m a friend, not a cop/detective).
- You ask me for money, promising to pay me back, and then you don’t do it, and you live the high life at my expense; I don’t give a f*ck (next time you ask me for help, my door will be closed).
- You come to my house to ask me for advice because you’re tired of your boyfriend being a lazy joint smoker who doesn’t even pretend to love you, I advise you to leave him, and you don’t listen to me; I don’t give a f*ck. He is your boyfriend, not mine.
I used to care.
And I ended up paying dearly for it.
- I would get angry when I felt betrayed.
- It drove me crazy when someone cheated me out of money.
- It bothered me a lot to invest my time advising people who only wanted to play the victim and disregard my advice.
Not anymore. Do you know why?
Because before I gave myself the gift of I don’t give a f*ck, life gave me the gift of heartburn.
My heartburn became my Guru.
And I started to work on everything that irritated me so that it would stop giving me heartburn.
Thanks to my heartburn,
- I learned to let go without regrets.
- I learned that many people use you as a step to get out of the hole by climbing on your back, but then they forget about you, and no one gives you a hand to get you out of it.
- I learned that there are prices that you don’t have to pay.
One of those prices is health.
Not out of selfishness (although wanting to survive is as valid a motive as any other) but out of pragmatism.
I can’t go down to hell and carry people on my back who don’t want to be saved.
For three reasons.
- Because when I get distracted, they go back down to hell.
- Because it is much more efficient to help people who want to get out of hell.
- Because from going down to hell so much, you get burned in the end.
The cold, hard truth about the world of self-help and spirituality.
You can’t save everyone. But above all you can’t save those who don’t want to be saved.
And as cruel as it sounds, it is much better that you show people the way out of hell and that they do their part and get out than to put them on your back and pull them out as if you were a fireman.
I’m telling you, since I’ve been using the “I don’t give a f*ck,” my stomach has reconciled with me and no longer burns.
A virtual hug
AG