These words changed my outlook on reality forever.
Dear grandson:
I am writing because I don’t know how much more lucidity I have left, nor how long I will remember your name—Alzheimer’s sucks.
That’s why I’ve decided to send you a letter occasionally- so that you will remember me when I no longer know who you are (excuse my dark humor; you understand me).
This will be the first letter (hopefully not the last).
In it, I want to tell you about the most important lesson I have learned in life.
I did well with money, marriage, and friends, thanks to this lesson.
If I could only give you one piece of advice in life before I die, it would be this,
“Be selfish. Learn to listen.”
Everyone wants something from someone: money, power, contacts.
The problem is that people want the fish, not to learn how to fish.
Nobody will give you a million dollars if you ask for it (fish), but many people would be happy to teach you how to earn it (learn to fish).
The one who looks for a fish is ignorant; the one who learns how to fish ends up keeping all the fish in the river. This is what I call “positive egoism.”
I’ll confess a dirty secret.
I’m an old dog but act like a rookie when something interests me a lot.
I pose as a novice so that the person with the information I want will relax, feel superior, and talk more than I should.
I learned it from influential people.
Influential people don’t waste their time. If they don’t know you, they treat you with disdain. But if you have something they want, they treat you like you’re the king of Spain.
Do the same.
Treat people like movie stars, make them feel superior to you, and they will feel so good in your presence that they will tell you everything you need to know.
Learn from anyone
From people older than you, younger than you, richer than you, poorer than you, sadder than you, and happier than you.
You will learn what to do and what not to do. Both knowledge are complementary (and necessary).
So don’t get hung up on the old cliche of being in the right place at the right time. — It does no good to be in the right place at the right time if you don’t do the right thing.
It’s much better to be in the wrong place doing what you have to do,
Being selfish, listening carefully, and applying the best ideas.
People don’t listen; they wait for their turn to speak.
Do the opposite, Listen. Milk people as if they were the cows on our farm.
Get as much milk (information) as you can, and make cheese out of it (Write down the best ideas. Rewrite them. Give them structure. Analyze them, BUT ABOVE ALL, PUT THEM INTO PRACTICE)
Most people you talk to don’t value their ideas. And that’s why they never dare to use them.
And that’s a shame; it’s a waste.
People go around looking at the price of everything to save three bucks. Then, they tell their best ideas, which have a potential value of thousands of dollars, to whoever is willing to listen.
Ideas belong to the one who executes them, not the one who has them.
People’s minds are the oil wells of the 21st century. All the big technology companies have realized this, which is why they want more and more access to our thoughts.
Remember
Talking = Giving information.
Listening = Receiving information (You want to be the selfish one who receives, not the one who gives).
Information = Money, power, contacts.
Don’t forget (And above all, don’t forget me. I love you very much).
Note: (My grandfather never forgot me)
Takeaway
I have applied my grandfather’s advice to the letter. And I can guarantee you that listening gets you much further than talking.
Be selfish, let them talk; learn to listen.
A virtual hug
AG