#2. Good manners, first and foremost.
I paid my way through college by working as a waiter, serving powerful people in fancy restaurants and nightclubs. And you learn a lot by observing people.
Here are three subtle behaviors I’ve observed over time shared by the people most admired by their loved ones, co-workers, and friends.
Apply them to your life, and they will automatically increase the positive perception of you by those around you.
Let’s get started.
1. Keeping it together in difficult situations
Most people lose control when an emotional trigger touches them.
These triggers can be
- Comments about a partner
- Comments about their alleged poor job performance
- Comments about their political orientation
- Comments about their aesthetic appearance
These emotional triggers make people lose their temper quickly and are vulnerable to looking bad in public, thus showing their lack of mental resources in emotionally hostile situations.
Emotionally resilient people know how to allow time between the provocation they receive and the response they offer. And this response usually shows that they did not take the insidious comment or the mockery as something personal.
Emotionally strong people act as if the opinion of haters slips through their fingers like butter. They make their detractors feel they are way above their criticism and comments.
This automatically makes the people around them admire and want to be like them because they know how to act calmly, appropriately, and efficiently at every moment.
2. Good manners, first and foremost
As a former waiter in luxury restaurants, I will tell you that the people most admired by their environment tend to
- Share excellent social manners.
- They tend to make your life easier when you work for them.
- They usually ask your name to address you properly.
- They smile at you if you make a small mistake and reassure you by saying, “it’s okay.”
- They make you feel comfortable in their presence.
- They make you feel that they value your service.
- And they leave excellent tips.
These people are a magnet for others.
As a former waiter, I will tell you that when someone like that walked in the restaurant door, no one in the service forgot him. And even if it would take a month for him to come again, he was always treated with pleasure and priority.
As people, we treat well those individuals who have the gift of making us feel good in their presence.
If you want to increase the perception that others positively have of you, I recommend that you strive to make each person you meet feel good.
You will notice the difference.
3. Control the time and space
One thing about people who tend to be more admired than the rest of the mortals is that they know how to respect the time of their companions.
- They know when to talk.
- They know when to listen.
- They know when to give advice.
- They know when to give a hug or a light pat on the shoulder.
People admired for their environment are capable of giving good advice. Above all, they know how to keep a secret.
They make you feel that you are the center of their attention when you are in their presence and that they have only good intentions for you.
So learn to practice the subtle art of giving space. Each person has their time. And these vary depending on their moods.
Learn to differentiate these subtleties, and people will be irremediably attracted to you.
Because you will become a fundamental pillar in their lives, you will have earned their trust and gratitude.
P.S.: and when you go to a restaurant, remember that waiters like me are always watching you 🙂
A virtual hug
AG
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