#2. Learn the f*cking lesson.
Jerks are everywhere those days.
And it’s not that easy.
It’s not easy to deal with people who take pleasure in others people’s pain.
It’s not easy to stop caring what other people think, even less if they are your loved ones.
It’s not easy to get away from bullies because sometimes they are coworkers or even a boss. And we need the money for the 9 to 5 job to pay the bills.
I get it.
Dealing with difficult people, it’s not as easy as the self-help gurus want you to believe, but here are some tricks that worked a lot for me in my journey. And it may work for you.
Let’s dive deep.
1. Please don’t take it personally.
We care too much about people’s opinions about us and too little about our opinion of ourselves.
That’s the whole point, baby: think less about what people say about you and more about what you feel about yourself.
Let me tell you something: if you won the lottery today, you wouldn’t give a sh*t what that person who usually messes with you says, would you?
(Answer honestly)
So — without downplaying the abuse you take from the people who badmouth you — if you are so affected by the comments of the insidious people who surround you from time to time, it’s because you’re not living the life you want.
So if you want some advice: find a dream and set a plan to achieve it.
That will make you take the haters’ comments less personally because you’ll be too busy fighting for your dreams to waste your time letting anyone steal your energy.
2. Learn the f*cking lesson.
Some people can make you mad in less than five minutes.
They know your weaknesses and flaws and what to tell you to make you explode.
But, here is the point: You know who they are, also.
And that’s powerful because there is no magic when you know the trick. So you can break the spell giving light to their darkness.
Learn the lesson the next time you argue with such a person. Remember how it all started. And the next time you see them initiate the same type of conversation or behavior, walk away, and if you can’t, avoid confrontation.
Don’t get into an argument.
What you focus on grows, but the other way around also works. If you take the focus away from something, it becomes smaller.
And if you take the attention away from that person instead of getting more prominent, which is what they are looking for, they will feel stupid and tiny. And if people are watching, they will look like crazy people.
3. Ask yourself the right question.
Whenever someone wants to argue with you and screw your day, ask yourself, “this thing matters?” and if it matters, “Will I still be worried about this in a year?”
And if the answer it’s not, apply point 2.
But, also, remember that nobody’s life is perfect.
We all have bad days and argue with people; it’s part of our journey. Because every person you see has to cope with many problems and pains, we are all bombs about to explode.
And we do. Much more than we should.
Most of the discussions we have are because of,
- Communication failures
- Power games
- Egos
- Feeling emotionally or physically unwell
- Being under-hydrated or hungry (try talking to me in the morning without having breakfast; I might yell at you 🙂
What I mean is that eighty percent of the arguments we have are avoidable.
And if we avoid them, we will have less friction with people who are already conflictive.
So try to find a small time gap between what gets on your nerves and your reaction.
If you can manage not to get mad and start arguing, and you can count to ten mentally, you will surely be able to separate the wheat from the chaff: to know if it is worth discussing or if it is better to let it go.
When something gets on your nerves, mentally count to ten, take a deep breath, and even go for a walk if you can, but don’t react.
That will save you a lot of anxiety and pain along the way.
A virtual hug
AG
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