Learn from my old toxic behaviors and not be like I was 🙂
The most toxic person I have ever met in my life was me.
So toxic I was that if I could travel back in time, I would visit each of my exes and yell, “Danger! Danger! Run away, don’t believe their lies”.
I’m not kidding; I’ve been more toxic than drinking rat poison on an empty stomach 🙂
And by being so toxic for so long, I’ve learned that when you’re toxic, you think you’re the good guy. But in reality, you’re the bad guy for many people.
And it’s not easy to realize that.
That’s why I want to share four subtle signs that you are a toxic person, and you don’t know it. In case you see yourself reflected and want to change (I would have liked this list).
Let’s start.
1. You are Gollum, and you don’t realize it.
Gollum was obsessed with the one ring, wasn’t he?
You remember his line when he saw the one ring,
“Precious, precious, precious! My Precious! O my Precious!” — Gollum
Well, when you are more toxic than snake venom, you treat your loved ones with that same obsession disguised as love.
But… It’s not love.
It’s possessiveness.
This brings us to the next point.
2. You don’t have friends; you have hostages 🙂
When you’re more toxic than sucking on an underground rail, you want things to stay as they are. So you want everyone to play their part in the movie of YOUR LIFE.
Because it’s your life, and it doesn’t fit in your head that people can or want to change.
That’s why you don’t rejoice in the success of others: it’s not envy; it’s fear that things will change and people will leave your side.
That’s why the moment someone doesn’t behave like they’re supposed to, you criticize them.
That’s why you take cheap shots, but that’s the next point.
3. You take cheap shots when you don’t get your way.
If you don’t get your way, you become as passive-aggressive as a child who wants to get even with his mother for not buying him a piece of candy.
The problem is that you are not a child, and with the personal information you possess about your loved ones, you can touch exactly what hurts them the most.
And you do it to try to convince or punish them for not doing what you tell them by saying something that lowers their energy or makes their day bad.
If you call on the phone to invite someone to your house and they don’t want to come and see you, you’ll say something like, “You’re so old. But I’m sure you have time for what you’re interested in. You owe me.”
If you feel slighted, you’ll defend yourself by saying, “Look who’s talking, the one who thinks he knows everything because he goes to university and is always right”.
And speaking of being right…
4. You always have to be the protagonist
When you’re more toxic than arsenic, you become more radioactive than polonium if someone else gets the attention you think you deserve.
Because life is about you, not others: you are the victim, the idol everyone has to idolize.
And it’s complicated because to do that, you must always have the upper hand, i.e., “be right.” After all, that’s how you think you’ll be respected.
And anyone who wants to contradict you has to pay for it.
And if, for whatever reason, your arguments and dissertations are not convincing and someone comes up with information that contradicts your truth, you will justify yourself in the most implausible ways.
- “It used to be like that; I’m sure they’ve changed it recently.”
- “On google, you can search for whatever you want to be right; remember that the internet is awash with fake news.”
- “Alexa is wrong, Jeff Bezos wants to confuse us with false information to rewrite history.”
The point is that your insecurity makes you want to indoctrinate others and subject them to your ignorance. Because deep down, you want them to be addicted to you; you don’t need your friends to have their own opinion (and that’s super toxic).
Takeaway
When I used to be like the four points describe, people run away from me faster than the roadrunner chased by Wile E. Coyote
So remember,
- Don’t be possessive.
- Rejoice in the successes of others. And adapt to change.
- Stop the cheap shots. Life is about supporting, not hurting.
- Don’t want to be the protagonist, and try to help others whenever you can.
If you do, your toxicity level will go down. Mine went down. Not that I’ve become Mother Teresa of Calcutta, but at least I’m not as toxic as a mercury thermometer 🙂
A virtual hug
AG
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