(And how not to let that happen.)
My day started with a series of minor disasters.
When I got to the main street, I met a sales clerk trying to open the store gate with her hip because her hands were busy with two coffees, and she spilled one of them on me.
After walking with my mother — on crutches — a mile to the cafeteria where we always have breakfast, and she stops to rest, it was flooded because the dishwasher looked like a Heiser in Yellowstone. And the next coffee shop my mother liked was another half mile away.
On the way to the second coffee shop, my mother’s shirt got caught, and the buttons popped off.
And when I finally had a Ristretto with a croissant (delicious :-), I realized that so many tiny little things could screw up a good day without us realizing it.
And as we almost always go on autopilot, we don’t realize it 🙂
That’s why I want to share these three with you. So that your days start well, despite the surprises that fate has in store for you.
1. Treat people who screw up badly.
“Be the change you want to be in the world.” — Mahatma Gandhi.
People don’t know that Mahatma is a nickname given to Gandhi by the poet Tagore, meaning “great soul.”
You can be “Mahatma Smith,” “Mahatma Johnson,” “Mahatma Williams,” or whatever you call yourself. It’s up to you.
Remember that a great soul is one that not only forgets but can forgive. And those souls are the ones who can change the world.
So how you treat others, especially when they screw up, can make a difference.
I didn’t bother with the sales clerk at the Moroccan candy stand; I helped her open the gate and told her, “Next time, buy me coffee instead of watering me with it.” — She gave me her number 😉
2. Getting crazy over setbacks.
“Consider setbacks as an exercise.” — Seneca.
Sometimes we get caught in a rush-hour traffic jam and behave as if we were in a hurry to get somewhere to perform open-heart surgery on someone when we want to get home and watch Netflix.
Going crazy because things don’t go as expected is something that is in our power to avoid, and that automatically improves our quality of life.
When I got to the coffee shop, I could have blamed the owner for not having things in order, the elves for messing up the dishwasher, or fate for making my mother walk a bit more when she was at the limit of her strength.
But at that moment, I anticipated my mother’s whine and the apologies of the cafeteria owner, and with my best smile, I said, “There is no evil that lasts a hundred years, nor a body that can endure it.”
And my good mood infected them with a bit of positivism, and my mother did not protest and kept walking. And the servers have taken away the stress of feeling that they were failing their customers.
You have to take setbacks as opportunities to be a better human being.
3. Getting distressed when we do not see a solution to a problem.
“The formulation of a problem is more important than its solution” — Albert Einstein.
80% of our problems are not problems but states of mind.
Sometimes, it’s about taking a step back, calming down, and looking at what we face. Sometimes it’s about being calm to interact with reality functionally. Sometimes it’s about looking at what happens to us in life with the right glasses.
For my mother, after so many setbacks, getting her shirt ripped and being half naked in the street was the last straw, and she started to turn red as if Vesuvius was about to explode and raze Pompeii to the ground.
I smiled at her and said, “You’re not old enough to go topless.” And she said something like, “You are a clown,” as she laughed. But thanks to the joke, the volcano that was my mother went off, and we could think clearly.
Right next to us was a baza, and we bought some safety pins that we used as buttons, and then, after breakfast, I gave her (in advance) as a Mother’s Day gift, two hippie dresses that she found in a Roman-themed fair.
And I’m sure, what had started as a crappy day, will be one of those happy days she’ll remember when she thinks about spring 2023 years from now.
Reminder for the memory.
- When someone screws up with you, be kind.
- When some setback threatens to f*ck up your day, deal with it as training to become a better person.
- When something clouds your judgment, relax, take a step back, and you’ll see that most of the time, that problem you thought was so big has an easy solution.
A virtual hug
AG
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