My grandfather’s secrets for dealing with life.
My grandfather was the most spiritual person I have ever met.
His spirituality was practical.
And his faith makes him survive a childhood full of hunger, the Spanish civil war, the second world war, 36 years of dictatorship, and the digital age 🙂
His faith made him prosper, but above all, it made him a being of light and very happy.
He had faith in life and traditions, was a good person, and fought with everything for the family. He had faith in his children, grandchildren, and me.
And that faith was and is a protective shield that continues to protect my life. — Also his lessons, here are three of them.
1. Learn to be a rose, not a cactus
As a child, my grandfather told me, “Life is a garden where people pluck the most beautiful flowers to take home. But you have to not become a cactus because the spikes protect but also isolate you. And you don’t want to be alone, believe me.”
I was so little; I didn’t know what he was talking about then. But I remember a phone conversation a week before he died in which he reminded me of that old advice.
And that time, I did understand him.
Still, since keeping a healthy balance between protecting self-esteem and being sociable is more complicated than to say, II asked him, “So then, Grandpa, what’s the alternative, being a thistle?”
After laughing for quite a while, he said something that blew my mind,
“Be a rose. Roses are the prettiest flowers in the garden, and because they know you will want to pluck them, they have the sharpest thorns.”
2. Good things pass. The bad also. Only you remain (what’s left of you).
My grandfather always told me, “Don’t be afraid of pain. Pain purifies you. Pain sets you free. Pain is the train that takes you from one station to another on the railroad network of life.”
My grandfather knew that life is constant loss. And because of that loss, human consciousness advanced.
But he would also tell me, “Be a little bit selfish, and don’t let time — the good or the bad — strip you of everything. For you are what stays in you.”
My grandfather saw the universe as a sculptor, chiseling the rock that is our life into a beautiful shape. But it’s up to the sculpture — to us — to age with style 🙂
Bad times may leave you metaphorically armless like the Venus de Milo. But still, it is our responsibility not to let our essence be taken away from us. — Not to transform ourselves into monsters.
3. The love you give is the love you will receive
“We have so much fire to give that if we don’t share it, we burn and consume ourselves.” — My grandfather 🙂
My grandmother was always picking on my grandfather.
She would say things like “You’re old,” “You’re not good for anything,” and all those things that some people say when their character sours over the years.
She died years after my grandfather passed away, and I remember her alone in the nursing home, cursing him, “Why did you leave me alone? Why?”
But my grandfather didn’t leave her alone. — He never left loose ends.
My grandfather left her the luxury residence paid for, money in the bank, and he left it written that a band plays her favorite songs on the day of her funeral.
When my grandmother died, there was live music: flutes, violins, and a piano.
As my grandfather used to say,
“Love with all your heart. And accept the defects of your loved ones. Because you don’t do it for them, you do it for you. The more you love, the more love you will have inside you, and that is the secret to being happy.”
And I can tell you, my grandfather, at 92 years old, with Alzheimer’s and his bones in shit, was the happiest person I’ve ever met. He wanted to go on living.
In fact, for him dying was like losing the game. He clung to life like a cat to a curtain 🙂
And I wish the same kind of will for you.
Meow!
A virtual hug
AG
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