Learn to identify manipulators before it is too late.
It is not easy to realize that someone is manipulating you. And it’s not because we are stupid; it’s because the people who use us are usually the ones who have the opportunity to do it.
And that narrows the circle a lot.
So much so that those people are usually family and friends.
And it isn’t easy to always be on guard and distrust your loved ones without your family and social life suffering.
So learn from my mistakes, and watch out for these signs whenever you notice someone taking advantage of you.
1. They use your flaws against you.
The people who know you best know how to read you like an open book.
You gave them the keys to your heart; now they know how to get information from you by using your flaws against you.
Perhaps the lack of affection, the desire for recognition, that tendency to say the last word. All that makes you vulnerable and a perfect candidate to be manipulated.
There is no small talk when someone wants to use you. A perfect sign of manipulation is to feel good during the conversation.
That is, you suddenly start to feel like you are in the driver’s seat, no one interrupts you, and every time you are about to stop talking (giving information without realizing it), you are encouraged to continue praising your virtues.
2. They make you make decisions in the heat of the moment
Another characteristic of people who want to use you for their purposes is that they don’t let you think.
They want you to make decisions influenced by feelings that they planted in your heart.
They want you to get angry with x person.
They want you to sell something you’re not sure you can sell.
Sign for an inheritance to be divided.
That you break up with your partner.
That you give up a promotion.
That you don’t move out of state.
You get it, don’t you?
It is a two-phase method. First, they warm up your head and upset you emotionally, and then they force you to decide without weighing the pros and cons so that you believe you freely choose what they want you to choose.
3. Their defense is attack and victimhood.
If you discover their intentions for some reason, these people will start giving you unnecessary explanations to justify their attitude.
And if this is not enough, they will first say that what they want is your well-being, and they will ask you things like, “How can you believe that I want to hurt you or take advantage of you?” to pretend to be offended and at least induce in you a reasonable doubt.
After making you doubt, they will play the victim, so you will feel guilty for questioning their loyalty.
Finally, they will wait for a prudent time until things calm down and then come back again to try to manipulate you to get their way.
Takeaway
These people are usually envious of you or have some hate. Therefore, they will need more than using you; they will want you to know they have won the game.
That self-centeredness that leads them to think they are better than you is what drove them to use you as a resource instead of as a person in the first place.
So, if you make a bad decision in the heat of the moment, and over time you realize it, check to see which people influenced you to make it, then ask yourself if they got anything out of your decision. And finally, if they have subtly hinted at your mistake.
If you realize that, someone conspired against you and manipulated you, stay away from that person because they will continue to do so.
A virtual hug
AG
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