It’s time to reveal his wisdom.
Do you remember the name of your first friend?
I do.
His name was Charles. We met at school.
Charles was as big and kind as Baloo from The Jungle Book.
Next to him, I felt like Mowgli.
Every time I think about our youth together, I think of the same song, “We Can Be Heroes, just from One Day,” from Bowie.
I loved that big guy.
But I also remember the exact moment we finished our friendship.
I was twenty-something. I was facing some setbacks.
Zero money.
Zero hope.
Zero calls from no one.
I felt alone as hell.
And suddenly the phone rang.
“Here you are, my friend,” I thought.
— Hi bro! Here is Charles. Do you want some fun tonight?
— Sure mate. — I said.
I went to the exit of Charles’s job (he was a well-known chef)
He first asked me, “You still broke, right?”
Yes, I nodded without words.
Ok, mate, let’s go to have some beers; I put the money, you the company.
Long story short: I went to see my friend; I didn’t need that damn beer at a fancy pub. I needed a friend, maybe a hug.
It turned out that I was Charles’s last choice.
He called everybody, but everybody had plans or work early the next day.
He just called me as the last option, not to drink alone.
That night was the end of my naive youth.
We were more than friends; we were family. And that night, he made me feel like shit.
He clarified that he paid for my beers because he was interested in not going to bars alone.
He clarified that I had to entertain him in exchange for the beer.
He treated me like a drunk who told you jokes in exchange for beer.
He treated me like a burden.
It hurt me so much that my heart still hurts.
The next day, I went to see my grandpa.
I needed some advice, and I knew he was the right guy.
After listening to what was happening to me with my friend, he said,
“Listen carefully, kid. There will be people who will come back into your life feigning regret. Please don’t believe them. They look for something of themselves that they believe has remained inside you. Moral: they miss the version of themselves when they were with you, not you.”
I thanked my grandpa for the advice and continued fighting to better my life.
Years passed, and do you know what?
Charles called me again after a decade of absence after the night of the beers.
I went to have a coffee with him.
And he tried to seduce me to hang out together again.
But I still remembered the words of my grandfather.
After an hour of small talk, I realized he was looking at something he thought he had forgotten inside of me.
Maybe his smile. Maybe his Joy. Maybe his Youth.
He was searching for Baloo, not trying to recover the friendship with Mougli.
He was using me like an instrument, like the night of the beers. But This time, I paid for the two coffees and left.
Takeaway
Listen to my grandfather.
It’s not that you shouldn’t give second chances, but you have to know who comes back into your life because they regret their behavior towards you and want to make amends and who comes back to recover something they believe was left inside you.
Remember. They do not come to resume the friendship or love relationship; they come to steal from you the little that remains of that feeling they felt when they were happy by your side.
A virtual hug
AG
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