#3. We don’t have to give our whole selves to people who only want to take a share.
I just saw one of the most horrible things I have ever seen.
A family walks into the coffee shop where I eat breakfast every morning with my mother, sit down at a large table, and order a birthday cake (only it’s nobody’s birthday).
A 75-year-old lady, her husband, and their two children, between 50 and 55, are at the table.
The cake arrives, and while the lady eats it and enjoys seeing her family reunited, she asks innocently: “What are we celebrating? Where are my grandchildren? My birthday is still a week away.
“Your new life.” — Replies one of the sons.
“What new life?” — Asks the woman uneasily.
No one answers.
The seconds become eternal.
The woman bursts into tears.
“I’m fine, damn it. I’ve just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It could be years before I need help.” — The woman murmurs between sobs.
“We’ve talked about it. Papa doesn’t have enough patience to care for you, and we don’t have time. Monday, you start at the nursing home.” — Sentences the son in an authoritative voice heard throughout the coffee shop.
Living that situation from a meter away was like being punched in the pit of my stomach. And when my mother started to cry, I cried too.
I was so hurt by the situation that I wrote this article using the three lessons I learned.
1. Those closest to you are the ones who can hurt you the most.
I’m sure the old lady has done a thousand favors for her family.
- Support her husband for decades.
- To take care of the grandchildren until they could fend for themselves.
- Help her children financially.
And now that she needs understanding, no one has time, and her husband doesn’t even have patience.
Conclusion: there are many people close to us to whom we spoil too many things.
Then we wonder why our life is going so badly.
And it is evident because we give and give to the wrong people.
People who run away at the moment of truth, like the lady’s family in the coffee shop.
Lesson: those closest to you are the ones who can hurt you the most. Be careful, and don’t let your guard down.
2. No free cake
The family has given the lady a full-fledged intervention.
And I can think of many reasons,
- The lady did not start screaming at home and alarmed the neighbors.
- To have witnesses if something happened to the lady due to the upset.
- The lady was overwhelmed by the situation and could not think clearly.
I bet for number 3.
I think the family wanted the lady to make a wrong decision. That’s why they overwhelmed her and rushed her. To keep her from realizing that unless she is legally incapacitated, she doesn’t have to move out of her home to a nursing home if she doesn’t want to.
Lesson: don’t decide in the heat of the moment, especially when you feel emotionally overcome because you sure don’t see all the options.
3. We don’t have to give our whole selves to people who only want to take a share.
People today want sugar-free Coke, alcohol-free beer, pitted olives, and love without commitment.
But in relationships, taking only one part of someone doesn’t work.
We are made up not only of the parts that benefit our partners but of those imperfections — farting, snoring, moodiness in the morning, getting older, getting sick — that make us human.
Lesson: Stick with those people who want your good parts but also the bad ones. Because if they don’t accept you completely, they are using you: they only want what benefits them from you.
A virtual hug
AG
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