#3. No one will remember you 150 years from now.
Growing up happens over time; maturing only happens if you take advantage of it.
The more you mature, the happier you are because you can stop giving too much importance to things you can’t change or that don’t matter.
To mature, you need to get up and fall again and again.
My grandfather always said, “I have seen the strongest people cry and fall. I have seen the wisest people not know how to respond. I’ve seen the most successful people start over and over again. But I’ve never seen them go backward because they know that you have to lose to be good at something.”
And he was right.
There’s nothing more beautiful than watching your dreams grow after facing all your fears, buts, hows, and whys.
Nothing is more beautiful than looking at yourself in the mirror and knowing that despite the years and disappointments, you are still standing, believing in yourself, without losing faith.
But for that, you have to take life with a sense of humor. And face the following sad truths with a good face.
- People don’t listen. They wait for their turn to speak. They would put you on double speed (like YouTube videos) while feigning interest if they could. But since they can’t, more and more people opt to make interested faces until they sense it’s time to talk about what they really care about.
- The more you worry about what you can’t change, the less you care about what’s important. You can’t do anything to change the tragedies and injustices that bombard you daily on the news. Nor can you make your favorite soccer team win, no matter how much you yell at the TV. The more you allow the macro to put you in a bad mood, the more you neglect the micro: all those little daily decisions that can make a difference in your life, like being nice to the waiter, asking out the person you like, or calling your mother to see if she’s lonely. To ordinary people, you are someone important. You may not be able to save the world, but you can keep yours from burning. Don’t forget.
- No one will remember you 150 years from now. Or do you remember your great-great-grandfather? In 2174 (2024 +150 years), at best, you’ll be a name on a statue that pigeons shit on and a couple of funny anecdotes in your great-great-grandson’s family tree work in history class.
- No one is an island. We depend on each other, even if we hate to admit it. Whenever I have a problem trusting others and become paranoid, I remind myself that I would be incapable of proving that the earth is round, interpreting an X-ray, or fixing a computer. If it were up to me, we would go back to the Middle Ages, not because I wanted to but because of my lack of technological knowledge. We need to trust people even if we don’t want to. Remember: things work because there are good and responsible people who do their job well and have professional ethics.
- You are replaceable to almost everyone except your family and dog (until he gets hungry). Because of that, you are in charge of your own happiness. So, if you have found something that gives your life meaning, protect it. Even if it seems silly to the rest of the world, like painting model airplanes at 60 or learning minority languages that only a few people speak.
- The rolled-up toothpaste theory. In many jobs (it also applies to toxic romantic relationships), you will be pressured to produce more (to give more of yourself). And you’ll tend to think that if you can provide enough, your employers (or toxic partners) will value you. But they don’t. Visualize yourself as if you were a tube of toothpaste. When there is little left, you roll it up (your boss or partner pushing you) to get the last doses of the product. But when nothing is rejected, you throw it away (they fire you or break up with you 🙂 and buy a new tube (they hire someone younger or go out with someone else). Having this clear makes you remember that your priority is you, not your boss or partner. Don’t lose perspective.
- People say the average adult lies between 4 and 200 times daily. I don’t know if this is true. I do know that people can look you in the eye and say “I love you” while hiding the phone so you won’t find they are cheating on you. I also know that some people ask for money, saying they will repay you when they do not intend to. Liars are a part of life, and their excuses are usually lies aimed at regaining your trust so that you don’t retaliate immediately or to get something more from you.
- We do not always attract people who vibrate like us. Sometimes, we attract people into our lives who embody the problems we have come to transcend. Those problems are necessary for us to progress spiritually. Living leaves marks.
- Many people will resent your happiness and your youth. And I’m not referring to the age on your ID card but to your emotional age, in which there are only two categories: excited or bitter; those in the second category will tell you that you are laughing at them or any other bullshit to dull your smile or ruin your plans painful because deep down what they hate is to know that there are people who still enjoy life. Cultivate good humor. Humor is the aspirin for the pain that reality sometimes causes us.
- People will fail you. But just because people do poorly with you doesn’t mean you have to do poorly with others. Life is like a multiplayer video game where each character has a score. Just because someone else is on less points than you won’t make you earn more points. Focus on doing things right, and don’t compare yourself to others. You have to sleep with a clear conscience.
In closing, let me quote my grandfather to you again.
“You have to be unreasonable enough to have a reasonably happy life. Because if you are always reasonable and don’t take risks you will end up living a mediocre life”.
So dare to lose, and you will come out winning but don’t forget these sad lessons, and you will take with more humor the curve balls that life throws at you 😉
A virtual hug
AG
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