1. Empathic people
Life is uncertain, but you can be sure of one thing: we all have problems.
I’ve never met a single person without problems.
The word “problem” is a synonym for “Live.”
You must surround yourself with empathic people and be reciprocal because Shit happens.
2. Relationships without attachment
That’s controversial. Many think we need an attachment to grow our kids with old-fashioned family role models. But we aren’t in the fifties anymore.
Modern families aren’t like the Simpsons anymore.
Breaking a toxic relationship is better than being an unhappy parent trying to fake a smile 24/7.
Dr. Walter Riso, a specialist in Cognitive Therapy, maintains that attachment is obsessive behavior that can turn into an addiction. This behavior, according to the doctor, is born from four wrong beliefs,
- To think that bonds with other people are permanent.
- To think that being with a specific person is what makes you happy.
- To am feeling falsely secure in a relationship.
- And believing that the relationship we are attached to gives meaning to our life.
Reflecting on these four points, we realize that attachment is fear of loss, which is immature and dangerous behavior.
We must be with someone for the right reasons and never forget that we share our time with others, but they do not belong to us.
They are not things: they are human beings.
3. Friendship without envy
My mom is a genius.
She always says,
“The people who can hurt you the most are those closest to you. Because the one you see walking down the street who doesn’t know you has nothing against you. However, even your brother can envy you and secretly wish you harm.”
When life brings to your life a true friend — one of those who are happy when things go well for you — you have to keep it.
Friends like that are a treasure.
In a podcast, Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked why he was still training at 74 years old, and he told the interviewer,
“For the same reason that I had breakfast today, for the same reason I sleep every night. Training is part of my life. It’s that simple, and that won’t change until the day I die.”
Arnold goes to the gym because it makes him happy. After all, training has become part of him: his identity.
That’s what fulfillment is. So please do what you’re passionate about repeatedly until you become it.
5. Self-esteem with more humility than ego
Self-esteem is misunderstood. You think you have to love yourself a lot and become indulgent.
If you are like me, the person who loves you most unconditionally in the world is your mother. And your mother will never tell you.
Have the last big party before you give up drugs.
Drink your last drink, and tomorrow we’ll go to Alcoholics Anonymous.
Eat your last donut and go on a diet on Monday.
No, your mother, who loves you healthy, would never tell you that.
She would say something like this,
Are you dumb, or are you dumb? Stop being an idiot and get to,
- Go on a diet
- Fight addiction
- [Insert here anything you should be doing but are not].
Do you want to change your life forever? I have a foolproof method.
Every time you are about to do something you shouldn’t do,
Become your mother!
6. Decision-making from a state of calmness
Everybody knows that making angry decisions or promises when you are happy is a bad habit.
But what about making hard decisions when everything looks like it’s working?
Life teaches me that complex decisions are the most challenging thing in sweet times. But if you don’t, you’ll pay a high price.
I consider Stillness the six wonders of the Emotional World for all of the above. Becouse if you can focus when your feeling is at the edge — no matter what’s the side of the spectrum, Joy or Anger — you have a superpower, and probably you even know it.
7. Acceptance of responsibility and not blame
.Accept responsibility without guilt.
Just do your best. And don’t forget this,
At the end of this life, you’re not taking anything with you: not the money, not the titles, not the property, not the house. So you will leave everything here.
But you will also leave your advice, your good deeds, your love, your affection, your memory, your taste, and your remembrance.
And that is very nice 🙂
A virtual hug