1.The people who hurt you the most are the ones closest to you.
As Niccolo Machiavelli said, “The human being offends more those he loves than those he fears.”
My mother says, “He who does not know you has nothing against you. It is the closest one who can hurt you the most.”
My mother has eight siblings, and it’s not all happy sunrises and family photos with pretty smiles.
You know how it is!
Life has shown me repeatedly that there are many people you love and even try to help, but in return, you only get bad words and resentment.
They are people with a massive inferiority complex. Although they accept your help, the moment they can, they go after you because they can’t stand having to take your help.
Conclusion: do things from the heart, but keep in mind that if something can hurt you emotionally, that something has to have a close bond with you and that something instead of something can be a “someone”: a sibling, a partner, a friend, or a co-worker.
I advise cultivating your self-esteem, not consenting to mistreatment, and practicing detachment as much as possible.
2. You are not an angel.
You were someone’s mistake, someone’s lesson, someone’s hurt, and you must learn to live with it.
We are all someone’s bad guy in someone’s movie. It’s okay.
You can only make omelets by breaking a few eggs.
The trick is to realize that you were also the hero in someone’s life.
Starting to see reality objectively endows you with a superpower called empathy.
And that power will make you feel better, but more importantly, you’ll understand the world better.
3. You only know some things.
People notice when you talk without knowing what you’re talking about. Read it again.
Not only do you look bad, but is the typical attitude that makes your life difficult because it generates rejection in people, and they will exclude you.
Many self-help gurus will tell you: “Control your ego.”
But not everything is the ego’s fault.
It’s something more profound than that.
When we lived in tribes and hunted mammoths, it was essential to stand out.
Standing out made you valuable, and that guaranteed your survival.
We instinctively want to remain valuable and respected by our tribe.
Think about the first conscious gestures of babies.
The first thing they do is point to something with their finger to let us know what is essential to them and make themselves valuable by sharing us the information.
Many things are still the same from when you were a baby.
Only now, instead of pointing, tedious conversations are used.
Tip: less is more. As Zeno of Citium said, “Nature has given us two ears and one mouth to listen twice and speak once.” And not the other way around 🙂
4. We all have regrets; you will too.
This is the most valuable thing I have learned in my first 40 years walking in the sun.
When you’re 20, you do things you wouldn’t do when you’re 40.
And it’s that when you’re in your 30s, the conscience bug starts to awaken in you.
And then you start to see all the ugly things you’ve done to yourself and others.
It’s significant because the cognitive dissonance between the observer (your 40-something self) and the observed (your twenty-something self) can drive you crazy.
The reason is that you are not the person you were. And you don’t recognize yourself in your actions.
So, when in doubt, don’t do ugly things (you know what kind of things I mean), and you’ll save yourself a lot of pain.
A virtual hug