1. How you feel determines how you act.
That’s true for you and the rest of the people you surround.
I call this “the cycle of shit,” and you need to know what it means to avoid it.
The cycle of shit starts with your feelings. If you feel bad, you think wrong; if you think evil, guess what? You increment the number of bad decisions you make, arguing with your boss, getting angry with your partner, being rude to your friends, etc. But you can stop the shit cycle.
How? Calm down, breathe, and think slowly. That makes you feel good; if you feel good, you act well.
2. People’s opinions are based on their experiences, not yours.
Maybe someone has good intentions when giving you some advice, but the reality is that what works for them doesn’t have to work for you.
There are no magic recipes in life.
Maybe you need the opposite of your friend when you feel depressed.
The key here is to learn from your own experience and start to invest time alone with yourself.
You need to pass the time with yourself. Otherwise, you never realize what works for you when you feel, for example, social anxiety.
3. Play the pause button on the expectations.
The rule of gold is treating others how you want to be treated.
The silver rule is, at least, don’t do to others what you don’t want them to do to you.
But many people out there don’t respect these universal laws. So, dealing with it is the best way to keep going.
Put a pause on your expectations of others, do your best, and forget the rewards.
Sometimes, the best reward is to be helpful to others even if they don’t even thank you.
4. You are not to blame for being you.
You have a unique energy that fits some and reacts poorly with others.
If you don’t feel comfortable with any situation or person, you can speak about the problem. But you never have to change your essence. Because who you are matters. And no one has the right to cancel you for being you.
Your uniqueness is your unfair advantage, and you will regret it if you lose that to please someone.
I’d been there. And my conclusion is that it is better to lose a friend than lose my self-esteem.
5. When someone hurts you, he also hurts himself.
As Marcus Aurelius used to say, “What is bad for the hive is terrible for the bee.”
When someone rudely comes into your reality, think that this person is not only doing the worst thing possible in an adult society but is probably immature.
That’s why elderly persons don’t argue as much as we do.
Grandparents know that many behave like children all their lives and should be ignored.
Do the same: Ignore rude people.
6. Your attention is the water that irrigates the garden of reality.
- If you focus on the pain, you grow the pain.
- If you focus on love, you grow the love.
- If you focus on anxiety, you grow your anxiety.
- If you focus on stillness, you grow your inner peace.
Where attention goes, your energy flows.
Use your energy to progress; focus on yourself and not on the comments of others.
7. Don’t allow anyone to control your thoughts.
You have to be the one in charge.
You can listen to different opinions, but you are the one who lives your life at the end of the day.
If you make a mistake, you pay the price. You can’t say, “Excuse me, mister policeman, the idea of driving after having a few drinks was my friend’s. I just let myself be seduced by his words.”
I’ve been there too.
You have to take responsibility for your mistakes. And to screw up less, a good trick is don’t allow anyone to think for you.
8. To be rude is to be weak.
Don’t be rude.
Every time you get upset and go to speak loud and argue with someone, take a step back, breathe, and count to ten.
I mean, for real.
Please do it.
You’ll suffer less if you make space between a bad situation and your reaction.
Show your power by being polite.
9. Stop thinking that people are the way you think they are
It is a fantasy of our imagination.
We romanticize situations, and of course, we idealize persons.
And then, when the person doesn’t behave as they are supposed to or the situation ends contrary to what we think, we suffer.
Stop being mad at people for acting differently the way you expect.
Please do it for your own good.
10. Don’t pretend to be chosen. Better choose yourself.
- You deserve to be loved.
- You deserve to be appreciated.
- You deserve to be respected.
- You deserve to be taken into account.
But most of all, you deserve to have someone care for you.
And that someone has to be you.
So don’t wait for the perfect situation, the perfect partner, or the perfect friends to be happy. Start investing in your happiness today.
Choose you. Make yourself a priority because if you don’t, who will?
A virtual hug