7# The likes and the number of followers.
We took things very seriously that we would forget in a couple of years. The problem is the same things f*ck our minds in minutes.
I asked my people on Twitter for the main things they stopped giving a f*ck over the years.
Here is the twit,
And after more than 24k visits to the twit and more than 130 replies, I collected the ten most repeated answers to you to avoid overthinking these things that won’t matter to you over the years and improve your daily life free of worries.
- Other people’s opinions about you. — The most repeated one is that when you grow, you stop thinking about other people’s thoughts about your life and start focusing on living an authentic and healthy life no matter what people think about it. As you get older, you discover that those things about you that others criticize act as a shield. It’s like clownfish. The colors of the clownfish keep predators away. Your quirks, for which you are attacked, keep predators away too. So be yourself and stop worrying about what your family, partner, and friends think of you. Because if it’s not positive, your quirks will scare them away like clownfish colors, and that, even if you don’t see it now, will keep you from the danger of spending a life next to people who don’t love and respect you as much as they should.
- People’s appearance. — Many of those surveyed think that the world becomes less superficial as we get older. But, paradoxically, we stop caring about a pretty face or an attractive body and start focusing on a good heart and an engaging personality. In my opinion, as the years go by, we discover that the saying “all that glitters is not gold” is accurate, and we no longer fall into the trap of appearances. We know that what makes a person beautiful on the outside is what they have on the inside in the long run. So stop giving so much importance to the superficial.
- Being popular. — People say that over the years, you prefer quality over quantity. You stop wanting everyone to like you, and you’d rather have a couple of good friends than hundreds of acquaintances who are only around when things are going well for you. So the advice here is that you stop trying to please everyone and meet everyone and focus on spending time with those friends who contribute to you.
- Attachment to people, animals, and things. — A large number of people stated that attachment is something that has been lost over the years. It is not that the loss stops hurting, but you get used to it. You may not see it now, but your family members will die, your pets will die, some partners will break up with you, and you will lose contact with many friends in a few years. After so many losses, you get used to people coming in and out of your life, or the suffering becomes unbearable. That is a great life lesson that you should keep in mind. Value people when you have them because sooner or later, you will lose them.
- Saying no. — One respondent wrote, “over the years, we get fucking selective.” another said, “over the years, I’ve stopped wanting to impress others and trying to get everyone to look up to me.” These comments have a lot to do with learning how to say no. We spend our lives trying to please others, and as the years go by, we start to feel less need for acceptance and begin to say no to things we don’t feel like doing, like going out to parties or going to places we hate. We like to be selective, and we finally understand that we are not in this life to impress anyone but to find ourselves again, with our essence.
- Money and college degrees. — As the years go by, respondents say they are amazed at how little or nothing they care about their college degrees, grades, and obsession with earning and saving money. Instead, they look for a balance between having resources and knowing how to enjoy life because life is over, and nothing you own can be taken to another life. So the things that matter most at the end of the day are the immaterial things, like feeling good and proud of yourself.
- The likes and the number of followers. — A Twitter user said that she had learned to get over the stress of wanting to gain notoriety through likes and retweets over the years. She also affirms that the “insolent” comments stopped affecting her. So I guess she refers to the remarks of haters and ill-mannered and not very correct people. At this point, I feel identified. Since 2017 I have replied on Twitter without exaggeration to a couple of hundred thousand messages. And I have learned the valuable lesson that my peace of mind is not negotiable. And if someone wants to harm me with a comment, the best thing to do is to block them and go on with my life.
- Family. — This is a controversial topic, but I have to be honest, and many people have claimed to lose interest in family members over the years. That’s usually due to the continuous betrayals and mistreatment we often receive. A friend always tells me, “Alberto, the bad people also have children.” And unfortunately, she is right. And one does not have to put up with abuse of any kind, much less from a family member. So if you are in a similar situation, take action and get away from that source of pain because, as you can see, you are not the only one.
- Let it be known that you were right. — When people grow up, they stop wanting to stand out. And they care very little about being recognized as being correct. It is enough for them to have the right information and use it to improve their quality of life. Not arguing becomes the norm when you grow up. There is no point in wasting time and mental health trying to convince anyone of anything because many people don’t want to hear the truth, only to win an argument.
- Age. — This point is surprising but true. People stop caring about appearances, getting wrinkles or gray hair. Turning years old is not something that worries them. I think it’s because of the experience gained; I wouldn’t want to go back to my twenties without knowing what I know today. And therefore, I know that experience is a degree. So when you’ve swallowed enough shit, you start to see the advantages of having been through so much, and you know that getting older is part of the process, so you see getting older as getting medals that life gives you.
There comes a time when you discover that you need fewer answers.
- Because you improve your questions.
- Because you are no longer silent.
- Because now you dare.
- Because you know where you’re going, but you don’t forget where you come from.
- Because you learned to pursue what you want.
A virtual hug