Sometimes life isn’t funny.
You know that.
It’s not funny to be underestimated.
It’s not funny people treated you like a rooky.
It’s not funny that no one trusts in your capacity.
But you can change that. Stop making things too complicated. You don’t have to use fancy techniques or train in non-verbal communication before going to the office.
It’s more simple than that.
You only need to make these old and unsexy habits part of your life.
1. Tell the truth.
Trust takes years to gain and minutes to lose. — All it takes is one lie.
Get the habit of telling the truth, even if it is hard because nobody does that, which will become your unfair advantage.
Let me give you two more reasons for doing it.
First, as Naval Ravikant suggests, exponential growth is the key to success in all areas of your life, not only with money. If you invest in your honesty and keep this way of being through the years, you’ll become an authority in any field you work in, which is respect.
Second, Jim Collins discusses successful companies in his book Good to Great. The author explains that the companies that become leaders in their industries are those that not only face unpleasant truths but have leaders who foster work environments where truths can be spoken in the face without fear because lies destroy trust and, ultimately, companies.
Jim Collins and Naval Ravikant know that it’s not sexy to be brutally honest with people, but if you search for respect, it works.
2. Helping people just for the sake of it.
Help is the most disruptive thing you can do in our hyper-individualistic society.
Cases of genuine solidarity do not abound. There is a shortage of good deeds. When they happen, they seem almost miraculous and do not go unnoticed.
The famous writer and pianist James Rhodes saw the post of a stranger, Rocio Medina, and took action.
Rocio had her violin stolen from the trunk of her car. She asked for help through social networks in case someone saw her instrument to try to recover it, as it was her work tool (a very expensive one).
Thousands of people echoed and began raising money so Rocio could buy a new violin. Still, the news reached James, who contacted Rocio and assumed the cost of purchasing a new violin.
It is not sexy to spend money and help people in need without knowing them, but I can tell you that James Rhodes has the affection and respect of all citizens in my country.
3. Acknowledge mistakes and ask for forgiveness.
No one wants to do it. It’s the most unsexy thing on the list, but it works for the same reason.
In this world of clones, we search for the unique. And there is nothing more special than someone with the capacity to admit errors and enough social wisdom to ask for forgiveness to resolve conflicts when they arise.
We all want to be surrounded by people with those characteristics because we know that nobody is perfect. And it is easier being with someone who understands forgiveness.
Don’t be fooled; respect is not earned by dressing up like a Peaky Blinders character, speaking with the deep voice of the lion king, and walking like an alpha.
Respect is a seal of guarantee given to those people who have correct conduct. Therefore, if you assume that you are human and imperfect, you will have to develop the ability to ask for forgiveness when you are wrong and accept the consequences of your actions. Without these two skills, you will never achieve the genuine respect of others.
4. Keeping the f*cking word.
Let me be redundant, but it’s so funny that so many people search for tricks to achieve respect because those who search for shortcuts do not deserve trust but distrust.
We trust in people who do what they say.
That is the key, the ultimate respect advice: keep the f*cking word.
To do that, you need only two things:
- Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
- Do not give in to temptations and always comply with what has been agreed.
Keep doing it day after day, month after month, year after year, and you’ll gain the respect of the people.
Yes, it’s unsexy, but it’s the only way.
A virtual hug