Three Hard Life Lessons I Learned in My Forties That I Wish I Had Known in My Twenties.

Learn these lessons before it’s too late.

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

When you get older, you discover that it’s no use running away.

It’s not the problems that always haunt you.

Sometimes you are the problem.

You can’t hide from your unresolved traumas. And the pain will stay with you until you process it.

It is a hard lesson but necessary to evolve in life.

People who carry trauma live anchored in the past that consumes them. And they need to free themselves from those chains to evolve and move towards the bright future they aspire to.

Many of these lessons, which are clear to me in my forties, would have been very helpful to me in my twenties. They would have made a difference and would have given me an advantage.

That’s why I want to share three of those lessons with you. To give you a head start 🙂

1. Your parents are not always right.

The world is changing very fast. It used to take hundreds of years for an industrial revolution to change the world.

Today such radical changes occur every decade.

So the only thing that works is to adapt to change.

Parents want the best for their children, and they tend to teach obsolete concepts that worked for them.

But you don’t live in 1980. There is no such thing as a job for life. There is no longer a guarantee of going to college and getting a good job. There are no more certainties.

It’s a hard lesson. But what worked for your parents probably won’t work for you. So you need to take responsibility for your education and anticipate changes.

Study programming, invest in crypto or become a content creator. Do what your instinct tells you because yesterday’s advice is no longer applicable today.

2. If you are the most intelligent person in the room, run.

Legendary poker player Amarillo Slim used to say, “Look around your table. If you don’t know who the cousin is, then it’s you”.

And that’s all well and good if you want to make a few bucks at cards, but surrounding yourself with people less qualified than you won’t get you very far.

I have a theory I call “emotional thermodynamics”

In the world, there are “Hot Coke” people and “Ice” people.

When the ice mixes with the hot coke, it melts, cooling down the coke. So the one who benefits is the coke.

Well, we can all be someone’s cola or someone’s ice. So you have to look for ice to become at least a fresh coke.

But above all, don’t spend your life next to hot cokes because you will melt.

3. You need frenemies.

One of the hardest lessons to learn is that the obstacle is also the path, as Ryan Holiday says.

You need obstacles, which can be setbacks but also competitors. Evolution comes from competition. Your competitors make you recycle yourself and learn.

Thanks to your competitors, you keep trying to progress, and as a consequence, you evolve in life.

The worst thing that can happen to any aspirant to be the best in the world at something is that the one who has the crown retires without allowing you to beat him.

You need frenemies ( friends-enemies) to learn from and try to overcome; this is the only way to progress.

And don’t be afraid of difficulty; remember that a river without stones is not a river. It’s a swimming pool. And you want adventure.

A virtual hug


2 responses to “Three Hard Life Lessons I Learned in My Forties That I Wish I Had Known in My Twenties.”

  1. Love this blog! Truly resonating 🙂 The frenemies part, annoying AF, lol!

    1. Hahaha, Thank you so much, Evelyn S. I wish you a terrific day.

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