Don’t make the same mistakes over and over again.
Being smart isn’t about being unique but about being human.
Being smart is all about making good decisions.
And there is no better decision than being kind and helpful to others.
Being helpful to others will make you rich.
Being helpful will get you a girlfriend or boyfriend.
Being helpful will make you happy.
I used to forget that, and at some point, someone said to me, “You are not as special as you think you are. You are only another selfish piece of sh*t.”
Worst of all, this person was right. He went through life lecturing everyone and pretending that my shit doesn’t smell, but it stinks, just like everyone else’s.
And we can all do better.
Here are three signs that showed me that I was not as bright as I thought and that made me improve as a person once I became aware of it.
I hope they help you too.
You don’t treat people as what they are but what you would like them to be.
This sign’s a red flag.
I used to treat some people as friends because I wanted deep inside that those were my friends. But they didn’t.
I used to treat my ex the way I thought she would like to be treated. But it wasn’t how she wanted to be treated, and she ended up leaving me.
We want to live in our perfect world where everyone fits perfectly. And people are not perfect.
You have to understand that.
People are the way they are, not what you want to be.
Be smart and accept people for who they are, not what you would like them to be. If you do, you will be less disappointed and do better in life.
You need to prove how much you know
Intelligent people don’t do that.
Souvankham Thammavongsa said better in her story Good-Looking, “Intelligent people, I think, can sit with their knowledge because they don’t have anything to prove.”
If you have anything to prove, you are not so bright, my friend.
I discovered this the hard way.
Whenever someone asked me, I used to speak too much about anything, no matter the topic. I needed to prove that I knew what I was talking about.
Now, whenever I feel the need to over-talk to show how smart I am, an inner voice reminds me of what Zenon of Citium once said, “Remember that nature has given us two ears and one mouth to teach us that it is better to hear than to speak.”
Speak less, and you learn more. You have to listen to people to be helpful and achieve your own goals.
You don’t try to find answers you try to win.
This is the definitive sign. Because we all falter at this point, and no matter how intelligent we think we are, we end up losing our reason for being right.
When there is a dispute, there comes the point in which the parties no longer want to be correct but to win the discussion as if it were a boxing match.
This keeps happening to me with my brother every time he comes home. And I have to control myself because he gets on my nerves.
I guess those who know us know well where to hit (metaphorically speaking) to make it hurt.
And in the end, I lose control over the conversation because the conversation is no longer based on sharing information or points of view but on a full-fledged competition.
When I behave like this, I go back to my childhood. I am no longer forty years old; I am twelve years old and trying to win an invisible prize that will only alienate my brother.
Besides, in this kind of discussion, nobody wins because, in the end, people raised their voices, and it was unclear who was right.
It’s like in wars: everyone loses.
When you meet someone who irritates you and takes you out of your mind before you start a conversation that leads to an argument and takes you mentally back to your childhood, take a breath.
You will thank me.
A virtual hug