It’s time to do things right.
The number one problem why you don’t have the life you deserve is because you don’t understand the game.
Yes, life is a game, the most complex of all.
Don’t listen to those populist phrases like “life is simpler than you think. You have to let yourself go.”
Because if you do, you will only go to three places.
A) to the street.
B) to jail.
C) to the cemetery.
And all that is far away from that beach you imagine in your hot dreams, where you drink margaritas and dance bachata with handsome locals.
Life is complex, weird, and uncertain, but you can learn from your mistakes.
That’s the point.
The myth of regret
“I don’t regret anything.” Wrong.
“I am the way I am, and I don’t plan to change anything.” Wrong.
“If I could travel back in time, I would do the same things.” Wrong.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Because if you never regret, you’ll never change. And if you are incapable of changing, your fixed mindset will make you stuck in life.
Regret isn’t a bad thing; that’s a myth. So regret is how you know you are evolving and becoming more mature.
It’s perfectly normal to feel shame and guilt looking back on your life.
You are not the same person you were
I would never be friends with my twenty-something version of myself.
My former self was like a hamster on amphetamines who went through life trying to please everyone and trading what little self-esteem he had.
And today, I feel shame because I’m not the same person I used to be. I grew up.
That’s why I embrace my shame, and I regret my mistakes. And so should you.
Use your regret as fuel.
Regretting something is powerful because even if you don’t know what you want to do with your life, at least you know what you don’t want to repeat in it. And that earns you time.
And you can make your life meaningful even more meaningful using “The regret exercise.”
It’s easy to use. You only have to follow three instructions,
- Suppose you are on your deathbed.
- Write in a notebook what you regret.
- Return to the present and do something to change your regrets.
I’ll share with you what I wrote the last time I did it.
- “If only I’d made that call to my father.”
- “If only I’d be bold to quitting my precarious cubicle job.”
- “if only I had told her how I felt about her.”
A little context.
I hadn’t spoken to my father in ten years. I hated my job because it took me two hours to get there and two hours to get home, and I felt a lot of work stress because of the high goals. And I liked one person.
Once I did step 1 (think of it as my death day) and step 2 (write down the things I would regret if I died at that time), I got to work on step 3 (do something to change those things).
I resumed my relationship with my father, and although it is not perfect, at least we talk a couple of times a month.
I quit my job, and one day, one of the most influential publishers in the world emailed me and not only published a book but gave me a succulent advance.
And finally, the girl I liked gave me pumpkins, but at least I could go on with my life, and I was not left with doubt.
All this made my life less mediocre and more authentic. And it can do the same for you if you start working on what you regret.
So do it before it’s too late because, as they say, “death is so sure of its victory that it gives you a lifetime’s head start.” But it always comes without warning.
So what are you waiting for? Stop being mediocre and live to the fullest.
A virtual hug