#4- Avoiding the unknown.
One only regrets what one does not try.
We also regret everything that takes time and money or causes us pain.
Here are five of those things that have made me bad throughout my life and that I want to share with you so that if you see yourself identified, you can change it and improve your journey.
1. Change my internal locus of control for the external one
Worrying about silly things is a form of self-torture. And it happens to everyone who pays too much attention to things that do not depend on him instead of those he can control.
You cannot control the world around you, nor most of the things that happen to you, but you can control how you behave in the face of problems, adversity, and your environment.
Using your internal locus of control means attending to what you can control: your emotions, feelings, and attitude. And stop being overwhelmed by the external locus of control: politics, crises, the surprises that life gives you.
You become more efficient when paying attention to your inner self and capabilities.
When you pay too much attention to problems, you become paralyzed; that is the least efficient thing you can do when you have issues.
2. Procrastinate my decisions
I disrespect myself when I decide something and postpone it because I don’t keep my word. So when I choose to do something, I set a date, schedule it, and when the time comes to do it, you know what? I do it.
I do it because by not failing me, 1) I gain certainty, and 2) because by having that certainty that what I decide to do and write down in my schedule will be done, I am much more careful with my decisions.
I don’t like to waste time. So I take much more care of what I decide to do.
3. Reading self-help without implementing the advice I write down in my notebook
Some time ago, I learned that if I buy a self-help book, I read it, I find it interesting, and I even take notes, but I don’t implement the lessons I learn from reading it; I waste my time.
Some excellent self-help books can improve your life, personal relationships, self-confidence, etc. But if you don’t dare to use the advice you find in them, all you are doing is wasting your money on books.
On the other hand, if you dare to experiment with the learning proposed by the different authors of those books, maybe not everything will work for you, but something will change your life for the better.
Think about it and implement the lessons you learn.
4. Avoiding the unknown
Living in your comfort zone makes you weak. Your mind needs adversity and surprise to evolve. Your heart needs to face different kinds of feelings in order not to harden.
Embracing the unknown is like training. It’s doing mental and emotional gymnastics all the time for pure survival. So it’s putting yourself under controlled stress and improving your adaptability to changing circumstances.
And that gives you a better position to face life.
Some time ago, I realized that small in-person arguments with friends affected me immensely because my patience had weakened after two years of the pandemic.
So now I embrace the unknown, try to be more social, and consequently deal with all kinds of positive and negative comments, to get out of my comfort zone and adapt.
Embracing the unknown far from putting you in danger prepares you for life.
5. Living in the past
Having my mind in the past 1) makes me long for what is past and will not return and 2) makes me miss the opportunities in the present.
Today is tomorrow’s past. Reread this.
I’m sure that when I was in that past that I long for today, I didn’t enjoy it intensely because I didn’t even value it. We only love things when we lose them. But now I am old enough to realize that.
So I live focused on the present, knowing that just as I miss the past, one day I will miss these days, these months, this year, and this stage of my life, but looking back, I will feel proud to remember that I lived it to the fullest as I strived to experience the here and now.
A virtual hug