7 Cold Harsh Truths You Realize When You Reach Your 40s

Cold Harsh Truth 7: The best revenge is a good life.

Photo by Robson Hatsukami Morgan on Unsplash

Getting older sucks.

I’m a couple of months away from turning 41, and the balance of my first year in my forties is explosive.

I’ve learned much more this year than in the past decade.

I don’t know if it’s just that I’m exhausted from eating sh*t, or I’m getting old, and I don’t give a f*ck anymore.

It’s disturbing.

The fact is that during this year, I got rid of a lot of emotional baggage that was in my way.

And analyzing it, I’ve discovered that it is thanks that I’ve learned to live with these seven harsh lessons.

Cold Harsh Truth 1: You can’t do everything

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When you say yes to something, you say no to another thing. The day has exactly 24 hours for every human being.

If you go on a date, you don’t go to the gym. If you watch Netflix, you don’t study for the test. If you go to the bar, you don’t go to see your parents. You have to choose.

And it also applies to the serious stuff.

You can’t waste time wandering about anything else if you go all in with a goal.

I love writing Poetry. But if I want to write Non-fiction, I can’t invest my time trying to win poetry contests.

With all the pain in my heart… I can’t.

I have to devote myself to my primary mission, which is to write essays and non-fiction articles to have a chance to compete with the best in the industry.

Lesson: Choose wisely your battles, or you’ll never win the war.

Cold Harsh Truth 2: You can’t change someone if they don’t want to

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I’m not arguing anymore. I leave.

I’ve spent most of my adult life arguing with everyone, trying to improve the lives of my friends and loved ones, telling them, “Hey, bro! Do this and do that. Try hard and see how well you’ll do.”

It doesn’t work.

That’s why I write. People who read me come to me wanting to change. And that makes them listen to me.

Besides, most of the time, people don’t want to listen to your point of view and contrast information to make better decisions: they want to win the argument. It’s all rhetoric. And that wastes your time and energy.

Lesson: Don’t lose your mind trying to change anyone’s opinion. Invest your time in advising those who want your help.

Cold Harsh Truth 3: Dating interesting people is better than dating interested people

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You no longer allow beauty to cloud your judgment when letting someone into your life.

You know that beauty is fleeting. And that it is far better to surround yourself with intelligent, fun, and loyal people than with people who are attractive but empty inside or have hidden interests.

You’ve been there. You know how that kind of story ends.

You want people who add, not subtract.

Lesson: Stop thinking with your genitals and start thinking with your head. It’s much nicer to have a life partner than a bed partner.

Cold Harsh Truth 4: Nobody wins without losing

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Elon Musk lost a lot of money with rocket launches until he made Space X an efficient technology company. Thomas Edison failed more than a thousand times until he made the light bulb. Walt Disney declared bankruptcy many times.

Human history is full of failures. But also of people who refused to give up. And that is why we have progressed so much in such a short time as a species.

This year, I have realized that my resilience makes me progress. And that I desire to keep going. That keeps me a little further away from the competition every day.

Lesson: If you persist, you resist. And if you fight, winning it’s only a matter of time.

Cold Harsh Truth 5: Appearing to be someone you are not is a mistake

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What’s the point of being someone you are not?

Suppose you dislike me; good for you. I’m unique, and my uniqueness makes me loved by some people and hated by others.

And I’m OK with that because I segment people.

You don’t want to surround yourself with everybody.

Pretending won’t get you to the top. Being authentic and associating with people with your inclinations and interests will.

Lesson: In the game of life, top players associate with top players. Read that again.

Cold Harsh Truth 6: Routine is freedom

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I’m a self-improvement nerd, and I’m not ashamed to admit it: I get up early, do the Wim Hof method, write in my journal, start my day, work in modules, train, and meditate. The whole package.

And I do it because it works.

Some time ago, someone said, “Sailor without direction, a sailor who drowns when the storm comes and is tired of rowing.”

You have to have a goal and a plan to help you reach it. Otherwise, you will be left sailing in circles in the sea of uncertainty.

And that’s when you have your goal and plan and need a schedule. It’s like rowing. You won’t make it to port without that structure that gives you routine discipline.

Lesson: writing down your goals and developing a plan of action will take you further than you think. But it won’t do any good if you don’t have a work routine to back it up.

Cold Harsh Truth 7: The best revenge is a good life

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40 is not just any number. It’s the age when you connect the dots, and things begin to click for you. You finally see how things work.

And you realize that it’s inefficient to carry the weight of hatred and resentment. That it’s better to evolve, have a good life, and smile. Besides, it is the worst revenge.

You probably haven’t thought about it, but when a person is mean and miserable and tries to fuck up your life, what happens when you leave their side is that THEY ARE STILL THEMSELVES.

Bad people are screwed because they are still them when you walk out of their life. So they want you to hold a grudge: so you don’t forget them.

That’s how things work; that’s how I connected the dots.

Lesson: When your enemies see you happy and prosperous, they realize they couldn’t even stay in your memories, which pisses them off.


I have also learned this year that true success is the by-product of sharing value. And I hope with this article I have managed to bring you something of value.

A virtual hug


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