#2 — You are tired.
There came a time when I got sick and tired of not feeling like I was enough.
Valuable enough.
Smart enough.
Tall enough.
Handsome enough.
Successful enough.
There came a time when I realized that all around me smelled like sulfur.
There came a time when I discovered that I had been living in hell for too long.
And that’s when I decided to get out.
And I know I’m not the only one.
Here are three subtle signs that someone has been through hell and survived.
1. You don’t waste your energy talking
People who have been through terrible times talk very little.
They know that words help but lose power when they become normalized.
A phrase or a motivational speech can lift your spirits, but if you hear it every day, it loses its effect. — It happens with the songs you like; after listening to them so much, they stop moving you.
People who have lived through great tribulations know that words can be the trigger for action but cannot replace the act itself.
Good intentions don’t pay the bills; finding a job will.
Apologies don’t save marriages; going to therapy and doing what you can to change will.
Talking about New Year’s goals doesn’t get anyone in shape; going to the gym will.
People who have been through absolute hell know firsthand that it’s unnecessary to complain if you are not going to do something about it.
2. You are tired
People who have been through too much are tired of facing adversity, dancing down the storm, and losing because falling hurts, and getting up costs a little more each time.
They are tired because even if they have someone to talk with at the end of the day, they are alone.
They know the difference between solitude and loneliness, which is why they seem so shy.
People who went to hell and back to life know you could get out of the darkness, but you could never get the darkness out of you.
They are not evil people, just survivors. But being a survivor requires a different mindset.
People who have been through hell can detect the envy and falsehood surrounding them. That’s why they don’t fit into social meetings and celebrations.
They are not popular even when they are famous. — You can see what I mean in the eyes of Keanu Reeves, he can smile at you, but you know the wounds inside him still bleed from time to time.
People who have lived a long time in hell and survived know that wounds never heal completely. And that you have to learn to live with the pain.
3. You are selective
Nothing is the same for someone who knows what the hell looks like.
You burned in hell so long that you may have forgiven the people who led you there or those who could help, and they didn’t, but you never forgot who they were.
When you return from hell, you become like a f*cking elephant: you never forget the hunters.
And you are so jealous of your private environment.
No one has a free pass to your life anymore.
They have to earn it.
You take care of your inner circle of friends.
They tell you that you give too much importance to things (as if loyalty is something to be taken as a joke) and that your life is too zen (as if your peace is negotiable).
But you don’t give a f*ck because you learned that it is better to be a soldier in a monastery than a monk in the war.
When you go to hell and survive, you learn to be a warrior and be proud of it.
A virtual hug
AG
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