It is Time to Heal.
You lost yourself because of someone who didn’t deserve you
You lost yourself to please that person who didn’t care about losing you.
That person indifference hurt you. But what broke you the most was becoming addicted to demanding attention. That’s where you fucked up.
And it hurt. It hurts so much that now you see ghosts in every relationship you start, social interaction, and new opportunities you give life to make you smile. And it’s sad.
It’s sad because you were always enough. Much more than enough: you were excellent. And now you feel small. But you are gold.
That love wasn’t for you, that person wasn’t in your way, and you didn’t waste that opportunity. You are only guilty of believing you didn’t try hard enough when you were the only one who tried.
And that travels with you; the desire to love, smile, and team up with another unique soul you can call family. And you’re going to make it.
Because people are not stupid.
And sooner or later, you will meet the right person for you, one who knows how to value you and is not willing to lose you.
The next step is not to recover but to evolve.
To recover is, by definition, to return to who you were. But you don’t want that. You want to be someone different, who learned the lesson, and who doesn’t want to make the same mistake.
And for that, you have to evolve. I’m not talking about tattooing positive phrases on your forearm or shaving your hair and going to live as a digital nomad in Thailand 🙂
I’m talking about something more subtle.
You have to change your beliefs.
If that toxic relationship made you believe you weren’t enough, you probably feel like you are not enough.
If your ex made you feel like a rug he/she could walk all over; your self-esteem is probably not at its best.
You probably don’t feel worthy of being loved.
And you are, but it’s one thing to know it on an intellectual level and quite another for it to permeate inside you physically.
You have to feel it with every pore of your skin, and you have to heal.
Practice emotional Kintsugi
Kintsugi is a famous Japanese technique that allows you to fix all kinds of broken porcelain: plates, vases, salad bowls, etc.
The master craftsman versed in the art of Kintsugi knows how to take the broken pieces of a vase and turn it into something similar but different: better.
He combines the pieces by sprinkling resin varnish mixed with gold dust.
It doesn’t hide the broken pieces; it highlights the cracks with the gold that joins their parts.
Moral: you don’t have to hide what happened to you. You have to show off your scars proudly: they are part of you, maybe your best part, because they are gold, and they united your broken pieces in a new, improved, and more resilient whole.
Now it’s your turn to let go.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned the hard way, we’re not the same person throughout life. It’s as if we are different people in every season of life. And to embody that new self, you must let go of the ties that bind you to the old one.
You must let go of friendships, jobs, thought patterns, limiting beliefs, destructive behaviors, and habits that got you here but won’t get you to the place you need to be.
You have to eliminate the weeds so your garden can bloom again.
A virtual hug
AG
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