#3- Realize you’re their “Nobody.”
If you were a Simpson character, which one would you be? I would be Milhouse Van Houten.
So you can imagine the level of bullying I endured growing up.
- I was beaten up in groups to get me to stop raising my hand and answering questions in history class (the only one I was good at).
- My math teacher would sing, “May the ugly die, may there be none left.” And then he would water me so I would grow up because I was too short for my age.
- Kids pricked me with an awl to make me cry so that my tears would soak the patch I wore to treat my amblyopia (lazy eye.)
- People made fun of me by imitating my OCD. Because back then, if you had a mental illness, you weren’t a person. You were the village idiot, giving people social permission to laugh at you.
And a bunch of other barbarities that bullies did to kids like me in the eighties.
The fact is that after school, my life didn’t improve much. But I kept going. And I think it’s thanks to the fact that my mind somehow became bulletproof.
And that’s why I want to share my defense mechanisms, my weapons, so that if you are going through a difficult situation at work or in your environment and you can’t just walk away at this moment, you can somehow withstand the pressure.
Let’s start.
1. Turn people in your toxic environment into NPCs
NPC in video game slang means a Non-player character. Those secondary players that the game provides for you to fulfill your mission while you play. But they are not other online players. They are a gimmick of the game itself.
Well, what I suggest to you, is that when you feel a lot of mental pressure, treat the people around you that mistreat you, and you can’t avoid them as NPCs: Secondary characters of a video game. And understand that they are only there to help you reach your goal: get paid at the end of the month, do your job, etc.
Do it with conflictive clients, insolent co-workers, or stupid bosses. You will see how your mind gives less importance to all the crap that comes from their mouths and aims to harm you.
2. Activate meditative mode
When you have OCD, there is a feeling inside you that tells you that if you do this or that, terrible things will happen to you. That feeling is released by pulsions.
- Checking that you closed the door tons of times.
- Not putting on those striped underpants, so you don’t have bad luck.
- Ritualizing conversations: greeting the same person daily, asking the same questions, etc.
The thing is that repetition or pulsion only improves things momentarily.
And it’s like smoking; you want more and more. And when you want to realize you have convulsions all the time.
The alternative is to live in the here and now. That is to say, to be conscious of your actions; every time, you need to open and close the car door 10 times, breathe and not do it.
When you beat the impulse, you have fewer and fewer impulses. And that is achieved by being aware of what you are doing, of the here and now.
You can apply this to conflicting environments so that nothing they say or do affects you. Every time someone messes with you, return to the present moment.
Focus on your work or your breathing, and don’t pay attention to anything else. Instead, spend all your attention on each step you are taking; in doing so, they will not be able to harm you mentally because your mind is occupied with something else, not their offenses.
3. Realize you’re their “Nobody.”
They can only hurt you emotionally if you allow them to, in other words, if you are affected by what they say.
And this is a truism that is of enormous importance because we take everything personally. And personal implies that the person who offends us is somehow someone for us.
And it’s crazy because you’re just a number to your boss. So you’re just another sucker to your conflicted co-worker. And so on with all those people who harass you.
You’re their “Nobody.”
You’re their f*cking punching bag. They don’t care about your life, so they don’t care if their comments hurt you; they despise you and don’t give a sh*t about you.
So why should you give a f*ck about anything they say?
Don’t give a f*ck about their words.
Change the rules, and turn them into nobodies in your life. Take away that power they think they have over you. And your mind will be shielded from their comments and criticisms.
4. Act from another vibrational level
I once had a partner who was more toxic than drinking bleach.
One time we were walking through the subway, and she tripped. She didn’t fall to the ground, nor did anything serious happen to her. But I laughed, and she started yelling at me, “You’re a moron.” “You think I’m useless,” “You think you’re better than me because you don’t trip.”
She was a person with very damaged self-esteem. But the point is, he was pissed off to see me happy; whenever I laughed at something, she thought I was laughing at her.
And at that moment, I realized that depending on your vibration, people react.
So, if someone is bullying you at work, or picking on you, change your vibrational level, and show yourself happy. And you will see how the anger consumes them inside.
And although they may initially be dissatisfied with you, eventually, instead of picking on you, they will try to get away from you so they don’t feel inferior.
And you will be rid of them forever (my partner left me because he could not stand to see me happy 🙂
A virtual hug
AG
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