Learn from my mistakes.
My grandfather used to say, “In the world, everything is invented; it’s all about learning the rules of the game and playing to win, knowing that defeat is part of the game.”
Everything is invented, and there are things that, whether we like it or not, facilitate what we call happiness and things that take away our joy.
Here is a list of the five things that have worked best for me to be happy after a search of more than 20 years.
1. Be clear that there are no recipes.
No two people are the same; therefore, no two ways to be happy are the same. Thus, the main thing is learning what we like and don’t like. To do this, you must avoid the environment’s noise and spend time with yourself.
Realize whether you travel to Hawaii or Las Vegas, you will always be in the same place: inside yourself. And therefore, if you don’t feel comfortable inside yourself, no matter if you are in Disneyland, you will feel sorry for yourself.
My first advice is to be “reasonably” content with yourself wherever you are.
And then have a plan.
To be happy, you must have a plan and a life project that includes: love, work, personal development, and socializing.
2. Forgive and forgive yourself
Everything that fills you with suffering takes away any possibility of being happy.
And I have found that what leads me to unhappiness the fastest is resentment for past slights and anguish over past mistakes.
So the best thing to do is to free ourselves from those stones that fill our emotional backpacks as we walk the path of life because walking lightly on the road is doubly enjoyable.
Forgive your exes for leaving you.
Forgive yourself for not measuring up at some point.
Forgive those who hurt you.
Forgive yourself for not being smarter in certain situations.
And realize that every dawn is a new opportunity to start.
A new world opens up before you when you stop perceiving yourself as the victim and begin to see yourself as a young adventurer with a new world ahead of you to discover.
3. See the good side of things
Everything good has its negative side, in the same way, that everything negative has to have a positive side.
The secret of happiness is to find those reasons (few) to be happy when tragedy knocks at the door and stays for a while on your couch 🙂
For this, we must learn to look. And it is that every crisis sprouts the tree of opportunity. But to savor its delicious fruits, you must learn to be attentive. And for this, it is essential to focus on the solutions, not the problems.
The solutions are the fruits of the tree of opportunity, and those things that work for you to solve a problem, can work for someone else and bring you much prosperity if you know how to market your experience.
4. Avoid short-term rewards
There is an epidemic of suffering in the world.
Many people are unemployed and suffering.
Many people have broken families and suffer.
Many people feel lonely, abandoned, and without a future and suffer.
And the solution for most of them is to anesthetize their pain with whatever cheap stuff they can buy at the convenience store: alcohol, ice cream, chips, fast food, tobacco.
All that numbs them momentarily. But it’s like sniffing glue: it costs your health and life.
I have fallen into that self-destructive spiral, and for years I bought the complete package: tobacco, alcohol, sugar, carbohydrates, etc.
And I was never happy; all that was a patch that had less and less effect on my emotional wound that did not stop bleeding.
When I cleaned myself of all that shit and managed to have some discipline to postpone the rewards and start making better decisions, I began to feel at peace with myself and others, aka reasonable happiness.
5. To have an orderly life
I have realized that to have a reasonably happy life, it is necessary to have an orderly life because the order is a natural anesthetic against suffering.
That is why many Zen monks practice Soji, which is the Buddhist method to cleanse the temple and the soul 😉
Another Zen term that exemplifies what I mean is Samu, which refers to tasks necessary to keep the workplace orderly and austere.
Order favors productivity, and productivity tends to a feeling of evolution and progress. And growth leads directly to a sense of well-being.
Austerity is the quality that allows us to concentrate to the maximum on the few things that matter. In doing so, we get closer to personal fulfillment, and happiness is only a matter of time.
It is also said that Suddhipanthaka, Buddha’s disciple, reached enlightenment by sweeping, so never forget this old Zen saying, “Sweep the dust, clean the dirt,” apply it to your life, and eventually, happiness will knock at the door of your house, and will kick tragedy off the sofa 🙂
A virtual hug,
AG
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