#4. Don’t force anyone to love you because it ends up going wrong.
1. Some friends are friends in bad times, but in good times they become enemies.
This sounds wild, but it is not. It is one of the great secrets of growing up.
Many of your friends are there for everything you need and will help you in any way they can. But if, for some reason, things start to go well for you, they will leave you aside.
And not because they no longer feel needed, but because deep down they were helping you so they could feel good about themselves by doing so.
When you do well, they feel inferior and don’t like it.
A great friend of mine, who has saved me from me more times than I can count on my fingers, stopped talking to me when he found out how much I made a month as a writer.
I thought he would be happy for me; he was not. And it was not an isolated case. The more successful you are, the more friends you lose.
2. Water must be picked up when it falls.
There are times of hard work. There are times when you need someone to hire you.
There are times of great success. Others when it seems like the whole world forgot about you.
There are times when everything seems to go right, and others when everything goes wrong, no matter how hard you try.
And that is why when the winds are favorable, you should not be satisfied with the good wind that blows the sails of the boat of your life; you have to row to help that wind, take advantage and gain momentum, and keep the inertia for the difficult times.
As the grandfather of a great friend of mine used to say (which I still keep), you have to catch the water when it falls because when it doesn’t fall, the best thing you can do is to rest for when it falls again.
3. There comes a time when you must be an adult.
Today I ran into a girl I went to high school within 1996, and she recognized me. And in doing so, she looked at me with superiority and arrogance.
I would have liked to tell her, “Laura, this is 2023, not 1996; the boy you knew is not the same person you see. It’s been almost 30 years. Grow up.”
But I haven’t.
The point is that many people still see you as a kid, no matter how old you are. And that sometimes makes you act like a kid.
My mother treats me like a kid, and I’m turning 42. But if I don’t pull myself up by my bootstraps and take charge of my life and her care, everything will go down the drain.
My mother is very dependent because of her health problems, even though she refuses to admit it.
Therefore, I have to constantly remind myself that I am an adult so that I don’t allow people to treat me like a child, mainly when their quality of life depends on me.
4. Don’t force anyone to love you because it ends up going wrong.
My ex went to Edinburgh with the excuse of learning English after seven years of a relationship. Three months after she was there, she called me on the phone and left me for a redhead.
Did I have a hard time? Yes, but I didn’t try to convince her because relationships don’t break up from one day to the next.
Some time ago, she had stopped sleeping with me at night because she said I snored or made her hot or any excuse she could think of. And we slept in separate beds.
If you look at it, you can see how a relationship deteriorates little by little and take off the blindfold of naive love.
She might have accepted if I had convinced her to stay with me. But the second part couldn’t be better. Because resentment always remains, convincing someone to be with you is a way of pressuring her. And it ends up going wrong.
Because if someone doesn’t want to be with you, the best thing that can happen to you is that they leave and let you rebuild your life.
So if someone walks out of your life and stands you up, don’t cry; celebrate because now you can look for someone who values you and wants to share their time with you 🙂
A virtual hug
AG
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