And You don’t know it.
Have you ever argued with a loved one and regretted it afterward?
Have you ever felt embarrassed about the way you treated someone?
Have you ever blamed yourself for losing a friend because of your bad mood?
It has happened to me many times. So many that I have finally discovered the trick behind most of my anger.
Do you want to know?
You have been programmed to get angry
Have you ever experienced any of these situations?
- Your partner says something to you, and it upsets you because it distracts you from your side hustle and bustle.
- Your child asks you for help with homework, and you try to smile, but it doesn’t come out because you still have to finish the report your boss asked for tomorrow.
- Your parents call you on the phone, and you sigh as if it’s the last thing you need.
I’m sure you do.
And it’s wild because you work to have a good life and provide for your loved ones. You work to protect that home you’ve worked so hard to build. You work so you can be happy with your family.
But…
You get home, and instead of enjoying that happiness that you work so hard to sustain, joy gets in the way.
Happiness (your loved ones) has become a distraction.
How can you be happy if happiness bothers you and you avoid it so it doesn’t waste your time?
You have been programmed to avoid happiness.
I’m sure you think you are unhappy because your life is meaningless, or you feel lonely, or because nothing fulfills you, but the reality is that you are not happy because you don’t spend time being happy.
All your time is focused on being productive until you burst, and then you are unhappy because you are ineffective.
Think about it,
- Why do you spend all day competing?
- Why do you spend your day worrying about tomorrow?
- Why do you care so much about fitting in and being socially successful?
Because you’re a junkie on a drug called validation.
And you think that if you have a good job, a successful career, and everyone looks up to you, you’ll be happy.
But deep down, you know it’s a lie because it’s clear that depression travels not only on public transportation but in the Ferraris of Beverly Hills.
Rich and poor are anguished by the same thing: money, money, money; status, status, status; produce, produce, produce.
They are like commands from a computer program running subtly in the back of your consciousness, aren’t they?
You are programmed to become attached to things.
The more money you make, the more money you want. And that’s because you’re attached to the good life.
Maybe you don’t need that much to be happy, but you don’t want to lower your standards when you buy a house with a pool and a garden in a trendy neighborhood.
And that lifestyle is supposed to make you happy, but the truth is that you don’t have time to enjoy your brand new Jacuzzi or your sexy partner because you spend your days away from home working.
Away from your happiness, with fear of losing it if you don’t pay the bills.
It’s madness.
You get attached to things you don’t even enjoy because you don’t have time. And attachment only makes you feel more fear. And that excess fear is what enslaves you.
That fear of losing what you have is the gun to your head that makes you work from sun up to sun down until you faint.
You are programmed to believe that the future is the answer.
“When I save 100k, I will be happy”. Bullshit, when you save 100k, you will want 200k.
“When I finish paying the mortgage on the house, I will be happy.” Bullshit, you’ll buy a second home when you finish paying off the mortgage.
“When I get the promotion, I’ll be happy.” Bullshit, when you get the promotion, you’ll want another promotion.
“When I retire, I’ll be happy.” Bullshit, if you haven’t been able to be happy in total health, how do you intend to do it when your prostate starts to fail 🙂
The future is a carrot for the rabbit (you) to run after until the end of its life.
You have been programmed to be angry.
Everything described above keeps you imprisoned by guilt, fear, ambition, worries, etc.
And that is why your life has become a nightmare.
And that’s why you get upset whenever something doesn’t go how you want it to or how your vision of the world says things should be.
Because only when things go the way you want them to do you feel a little relief. Reread it.
But that relief is short-lived because you’re always chasing the next carrot.
So you’ll get upset again if someone gets in your way, even if someone is a loved one who wants to make you happy.
Quarantine your programming
Only by being aware that you are reacting because of your sociocultural programming will you be able to free yourself from it.
When you feel anger or discomfort, visualize that emotion, that desire to talk back to your loved ones, and put them in quarantine before reacting.
Run the antivirus on your brain, and every time you detect one of those programs running: anger, haste, impatience, rage, frustration, say, “Aha, this is anger,” “Aha, this is haste,” “Aha, this is impatience,” “Aha, this is rage,” “Aha this is frustration,” “Aha this is [insert here the shitty feeling that steals your joy].
Personal example and application to your life
It happens to me with my mother, who spends all day bothering me when I work 🙂
I used to argue and tell her she doesn’t respect my work space and blah, blah, blah.
Now, I realize that since childhood, I have been programmed to be unhappy and therefore live obsessed with being productive.
Every time I feel my blood boil because my mother bothers me, I smile because now I know that this feeling was implanted, but it is not my true nature.
And because I know the trick, I can free myself from that programming by being conscious.
Repetition makes perfect, and if you get used to reminding yourself that you have been programmed every time you get upset, the program will eventually lose its influence over you like a joke that loses its punch line after so much telling.
This simple trick will help you be slightly happier.
A virtual hug
AG
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