Family secrets for living a good life.
My grandfather lived almost a hundred years.
And the greatest lesson of his life was to learn to lose.
- He lost his childhood. He started working at the age of 8.
- He lost family members in the civil war.
- He lost his father at the age of eighteen.
- He lost the fun of his 20s because he spent five years of obligatory service in the army.
- He lost his freedom of speech during almost forty years of dictatorship.
- He lost his memory when his Alzheimer’s flared up at the end of his life.
But losing so much, he learned to win: to gain happiness.
He had a secret: not to carry unnecessary burdens by letting go of resentment through true forgiveness.
A forgiveness that comes from the heart and benefits the forgiver (who walks lighter) than the forgiven.
But how do you forgive someone from the heart and not just in words?
For this, let me transcribe a conversation I had with my grandfather.
Hurry up; life is short.
Live, grandson. Don’t make the mistake of overthinking about tomorrow.
In your youth, you will have “free” everything you will have to pay for when you grow old: health, enthusiasm, illusion, friends, love, companionship.
Collect good moments.
Don’t break a dish; break the all because the restaurant bill of life will be the same: illness and death.
Decadence is a monster that first isolates you, grandson. And then it digs its claws into your neck so you won’t ask for help.
The f*cking pride you acquire over the years are those claws, grandson.
And all for not forgiving yourself or for not forgiving others.
But listen carefully, my dear. I’ll tell you a secret, the secret of forgiveness.
The secret of forgiveness
Keep every beautiful memory like a treasure in your memory chest. — You will need them when despair comes knocking at your door.
You will have to hold on to the good times of the past and relive them in your mind to realize that in those moments, you were not alone.
And that person who accompanied you surely will no longer be your friend, partner, boss; you name it.
Sometimes, people leave, and sometimes, life takes them away from you. It’s all the same.
The important thing is to hold on to that happy memory every time sadness clouds your days.
And in doing so, you will be able to see with different eyes those people with whom you were once happy. And for X or Y reasons, today, you are no longer in your life.
I remember a friend who ended up being my greatest enemy. But back in my youth, we used to play soccer by rolling up our t-shirts in the shape of a rag ball after working in the field all morning.
Over the years, the war drove us apart. He was a Fascist, and I was a Republican.
But every time I remember those afternoons playing soccer in the meadow with our tattered shirts under the sun, using two stones as goals, my eyes water with happiness.
This memory of my friend reminds me every time I get angry with someone, that when time goes by, I will remember the good times I had with that person I am angry with.
And the memory of that happy moment will surely make me happy.
And that is a gift from heaven when you are 90 years old, and death is so close, and everything is in pain 24/7, and you have this Alzheimer’s that is making me forget your name, dear grandson.
But forgiving is not enough to be happy. Listen, grandson, listen carefully.
The secret of happiness
It is not that you are unhappy. It is that you have forgotten how to be happy.
In the same way, people no longer remember what the world was like when there were no social networks or the internet. — Damn, I grew up not knowing what electric light was in the village.
Everyone has forgotten that for the light (happiness) to come on, you must flip the switch (socialize).
Nobody goes down to the bar or the park or for a walk or wherever with friends to have coffee and play dominoes. We spend all day glued to the damn screens, grandson.
It’s not just you who forgot how to be happy; everyone else forgot, too.
And that’s why we’re all in this world with our heads full of smog and our hearts full of tears: we don’t know how to turn on the light.
And the switch is still in the same damn place; the switch of happiness is in social interactions, calling friends, feeling useful, and enjoying your loved ones.
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you’re missing out on something by disconnecting from social media and the internet occasionally.
On the contrary, you will be missing out on yourself if you don’t do it.
Disconnect for a week from all your screens, and you will see that you are unable to travel and enjoy the scenery; read a novel without anguish; you will see how boredom has become an ugly monster that scares you.
Before, boredom was a necessary part of life because it favored your creativity.
So, get your life back on track: hang out with your friends and make more happy moments to fall back on when defeat comes knocking at your door.
A virtual hug
AG (From me and my grandfather, who is smiling down on us from heaven).
Leave a Reply