Because the truth hurts more if you don’t know it.
At 33, my life exploded into millions of pieces, and nothing was left of what I had built: partner, money, company, house; I lost everything.
I managed to emerge from the ashes like a phoenix.
But if I could return, I would have liked to be clear about these four truths.
1. Life is very complicated
They say that life is simple and that we complicate it.
That’s a lie!
Living is lovely, but it hurts like hell.
And if you haven’t figured it out yet, wait until the universe takes away everything you care about in one day.
It happened to me, and I ended up on the floor in the fetal position, crying like a baby while screaming “Why? over and over like a mantra).
Life is complicated; that’s the hard truth.
Until one day, you say, “Everything is simpler than I thought.”
But you say that because you’ve already gone through the whole process.
You’ve learned to live with just enough and accept things’ impermanence.
But until you get to that point of “enlightenment,” you have to go through mountains of shit.
Unsolicited advice: Everything will get better, so hang in there. It’s precisely going through the hard times that make you simplify your life.
2. Losing everything can be a blessing
Pain is fuel.
Pain = fuel = energy.
Also, when you lose everything, there is no attachment because you have nothing to attach to, which frees your mind.
And to top it off, when your whole world burns, you have no place to go back to, leaving you only one option: moving forward.
There is no turning back; you can only go forward.
And that changes everything.
Note: Losing everything is often the price when your dreams are enormous, and it’s always paid upfront.
Unsolicited advice: use your pain to push your life to the sky like a rocket.
3. There are two kinds of envy
1-The one that makes you famous
It’s the one that comes from people who don’t know you at all.
And it only comes if what you are doing is worthwhile.
Theodore F. MacManus (an advertising genius) said, “When a person’s work becomes a standard for everyone, it also becomes a target for the envious. “
Lesson: if they are starting to criticize your work a lot, you are on the right track. The only ones who don’t get criticized are the mediocre ones.
2-The envy of your loved ones.
That’s the most dangerous because, as my grandfather said, “The ones who can hurt you the most are the ones in your inner circle because they have more access to you.”
This brings me to the question: Why do the people who are supposed to love you envy you?
Look, we live in tribes. And tribes are hierarchical.
And there are always people in your tribe who don’t want you to do better than them because it lowers them in your tribe’s internal hierarchy.
Unsolicited advice: Be careful about the advice your loved ones give you. They will only sometimes be well-intentioned.
4. The social game is a game of expectations.
You get something from me, and I get something from you: help, money, services, companionship, friendship.
That’s the healthy thing to do, even if many see it as selfish. The world is based on that simple premise.
No matter how much they tell you, nothing is free. But you don’t always pay with money. You can also pay with time, information, or loyalty.
And it’s okay to pay the price.
The problem is making friends when you want to make clients.
Or, much worse, making clients when you go looking for friends.
Because both lead to a lot of misunderstandings.
Unsolicited advice: Beware of people who pretend not to know what they want from you.
Bonus
In the last decade, I’ve learned that…
Some messages are so difficult to send that we always postpone them. And little by little, we lose contact with that “special” person out of embarrassment and fear. And in the end, the question, “How are you?” remains unanswered and abandoned in the drafts folder.
Send those messages because those “Special” people don’t live forever.
A virtual hug
AG
Leave a Reply