These are truths I wish I had known much earlier in life.
My grandfather seemed to read my mind. He was somehow linked to me.
Whenever I was having a wrong time, he would call me on the phone and give me some advice.
A lot of it is disturbing.
As he used to say, “I’m not old enough to keep quiet about things. I already kept quiet too much during the war and the subsequent 40 years of military dictatorship”.
Here are four of those tips, which did me so much good at the time, and I hope some of them will help you.
1. People without shame have no shame.
This may seem obvious, but it is not. And my grandfather proved it to me.
He told me,
“Shameless people have no shame. But you do. And that’s their advantage. That’s what they take advantage of.”
I’ll give you some examples I’ve experienced recently of how shameless people take advantage of us.
- A lady goes to the cafeteria, where I eat breakfast daily, with the shopping cart every Monday. She enters the bathroom and fills it with toilet paper rolls from the store. The owners know about it but are embarrassed to put on a show.
- The other day, I went to the dentist, and when I was paying at the reception, another patient came out and said he was leaving without paying because he had to try the dental prosthesis first. As he was an older adult, the dentist was embarrassed to call the police.
- In December I lent money to an unreliable relative, he said he would pay me back on January 1. It is now February 13, and I still need to be paid. When I call him on Skype to claim my money while he plays video games, he tells me I’m too much of a pain in the ass.
Moral: Many people use our shame and education against us. My grandfather used to say, “You can’t let those people get away with it. Or we will permanently lose out in the end. “
2. People are afraid and they will spread it to you if they can.
In the beginning, I was terrified to go into writing.
People told me, “Get a real job”, “Writing is not a job, it’s a hobby”, “Nobody makes money writing in this country. Only the usual four”.
When I told my grandfather about it, he said.
“People tell you that for two reasons: they don’t have the self-esteem to start a business. And they are afraid that it will work out for you and they will have to assume that they have a shitty job because they didn’t dare to bet on their dreams.”
I would love to tell you that I listened to him. But I didn’t listen to him.
I didn’t decide to write until he died.
I started writing because I owed him.
It’s been seven years since I wrote my first book, and I’m still living from writing. My grandfather was right; I took too long to listen to him.
Please don’t do it like me. Dare to fight for your dreams. Stop listening to the fearmongers; be brave.
3. Succeeding is like dancing: it’s a matter of getting into the rhythm.
Whenever my grandfather saw me break down, he encouraged me to get up and keep moving forward.
He would say to me,
“Boy, there’s an age in life — usually in youth — when things happen to you: you fall in love, you get a good job, opportunities sprout in your path like mushrooms after it rains. And another where good luck runs out, and you’re the one who has to make things happen. That’s what being a successful adult is all about: making things happen.”
The bad news is that my grandfather was right.
The good news is that when you start moving, you gain inertia and learn to make things happen with less effort.
4. Selling your time cheaply is expensive
At one point in my life, I worked for a “so-called friend” for $400 a month, with the promise that he would make me a partner in the company I helped him found.
It didn’t happen. I ended up broke.
After which my grandfather said to me,
“Selling your time cheap is expensive. Because the price you put on your time says a lot of things about you.”
And life has taught me that’s true.
Back to the subject of the dentist.
I go to the most expensive dentist in my town, and I go because his price tells me that the dentist KNOWS WHAT HE DOES.
I don’t go to the cheap dentists because their prices tell me, “I WORK AT VOLUME; TO ME, YOU’RE JUST AN ADDITIONAL NUMBER. “
And I don’t go to dentists where it says “free first consultation” because “free” tells me THAT THE PRICE IS ME.
The price you put on your work is like a gossipy friend who tells your secrets to those who stop to listen.
So listen to my grandfather and ask yourself, “What are you telling the world with your price?
A virtual hug
AG
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